What is Life

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Liam Hull

3:35

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Man I'm so high I feel like I'm 7'2"
And this beat so smooth it sound like heaven do
I'm in pain so I smoke down to the residue
And my brain is swirling 'round how the weather do
More fatal than hurricanes and tornadoes
Baby I ain't no angel you ain't gon' see a halo
But if you look in my eyes I bet you see the pain though
If you knew what's inside, I wouldn't have to say so
Pain management, brain damagin' substances
In love with the buzz I get, I just can't get enough of it
I gotta get higher and so the dosage needs doublin'
And prospects are dire so I lay down and give up again

Yeah depression got me questionin'
I try to get the best of it
But everytime I turn around those thoughts inside my head again
Wrestlin' with pessimism, solve it with the medicine
Try to stay ahead of it, but fall back into restlessness
I'm standin'' on the precipice of death
This is existential dread
Yeah my penmanship's adept
A perfectionist at best
But at worst I'm cursed
I let my blood dot the page that's how I wrote this verse
Until I leave this Earth
I can't be free from hurt
I think I need a nurse
I'd rather weed and worse
I guess we'll see what works
I'm plantin' seeds in dirt
Man I need peace, but please it's not an easy search
Gotta believe it first

Soft spoken, been heartbroken, but still hopin'
My thoughts open, but door's closin', I'm not copin'
I start chokin' from smoke tokin', I'm not jokin'
A lost soldier, been glossed over, I'm not sober
Bars far as the Mars rover, the stars closer
This hard potion, dissolved motrin and ibuprofen
Pass me an Advil, I'm speakin' factual, I keep it casual
Did what I had to do, made some choices that's unimaginable

Man what is life, the sharpest knife, the coldest ice
Can't make it right, I stay enticed, so I paid the price
I died twice like Jesus Christ in fourty nights
Say he is risen, the realest spittin', this weed is hittin'
I see the difference between these bitches, its easy pickens
I have a vision
I'm Nas on "It Was Written"
LeBron against the Pistons
I rhyme like I'm on a mission
I might just be too ambitious
I'm spiraling with addictions

The textbook definition
Of blessings that were hidden
A desperate man who's ridden
With stress and inhibition
I'm tested by the minute
Depressed but keep on livin'
The rest can be forgiven
No less, I gotta deal with
This mess, and go and get it
The stress, I gotta kill it
Success, I gotta will it
The game is in my spirit
But fame I'm far from near it
The rain, yeah I can hear it
The same way I can feel it
The pain, no way to heal it
Oh yeah, no way to heal it
Uh-huh, no way to heal it

Can't treat it
I know that I have to beat it
Some days I feel defeated
But hope is in the air, I just know I gotta reach it
I'm struggling to breathe in the deep end
Knees weaken
Deep thinkin'
Breeds drinkin'
Doubts creep in
I keep sinkin'
Dreams shrinken, slip away, and turn to dust
But I can't change what it is or what it was

So much wisdom in stoicism and prose I've written
Just hold and listen, this flow I'm spittin' is so uplifting
Ocean visits to cleanse my mind of old addictions
I hope and wish it, I say it's fine, but I know it isn't
I try and search the sky and earth for my own worth
I write a verse 'bout living fast and dying first
The truth hurts and lying works so which is worse
Some real decisions I'm dealin' with 'em, my feelings missin'
Covered in scars, it's so bizarre I've come this far
Just deal the cards, I'll take the spades, you keep the hearts
I know it's hard, you're free from blame, I'll take the charge
A stubborn artist, the toughest target, that's since it started
A puzzling duality, the nature of reality
A wish for immortality, I know that that's a fallacy
Standin' on the balcony, my homies at the back of me
The way I see it now, man none of this even matters G

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