Olive Green

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Mike DellaGioia

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I have your name
But I've been terrified to use it
If you could see me now
You would be just as disillusioned
Golden angles
Tree-lined trails, dried pine needles
You have my name
Just at a different elevation
I don't want to be seen when my organs are in danger
Open, under
We share deep tangled roots but up here
Up here
Up here
I'm a stray branch
Cut me from the tree
Over a decade still no leaves
Doubt is a heavy cloud
I still carry mine around
Blistered collarbone
Still no sleep
Quiet in the lobby
Bursting at the seams in the streets
Permissibly lonesome
Can I really be the only one?
The only one?
I don't know which map you have
But mine shows narrow saltwater streets
And the parish hall on yours seems way too close to the beach
Week by week they're uprooting all that we know
And tossing it out into the ever-growing marsh weeds
It's a shame nobody comes down here anymore
But at least I still do

For all of your greens and whites and pale yellows
Water boils and sings in dissonant melodies
That rattle the single-paned windows diagonal to where the outdated oven crackles and spits
The glass bead eyes in your blackbear puppet come to life
In a forest of the brown paneled hallway
My father's footsteps before mine and yours before his
I guess we never really know how it started just like we never really know how it ends

This was a shade scattered cul-de-sac until the root system became a complicated burden
And when I lose my footing that's when I start to worry
That you'll become unmanageably ashamed
If forced to return my name
First I'll fall, then I'll drift, then I'll sink
Deep, deep down, stuck in the mud-lined banks of the same swamp we tried to escape
Until and unless some curious hands
Uncover me like an old oxidized railroad tie
We share a name
We share a name
We share a name
But I'm terrified that's where it ends

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