Football Fat-Ass

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The KMX Band

2:30

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Ever since I was a young boy
I have sucked at football
Even at Tolbert Middle School
I was the worst one of them all
But I ain't seen nothing like him
In any bathroom stall
That big hairy fat kid
Sure sucks at football

He runs like a statue
He's not part of the team
Even when he's stretching
You can hear him gasp and wheeze
He sneaks Hershey Kisses
Deep inside his belt
That big fuckin' fat kid
Sure sucks at football

He's a Football Fat-Ass
Must be quite a trip
A Football Fat-Ass
Got so many fucking chins

How do ya think he does it?
I don't know
How'd he get so fat?

Even at my lunch table
He eats every chicken breast
Osmosis leads him in
And he just does the rest
Got great big stubby fingers, never seen him use a fork
That big hairy fat kid
Sure sucks at football

I thought I was a pretty chubby kid
But I can talk to girls because of him

I went to visit my girlfriend
She was busy all week
I went up near her bedroom
I could hear that fat boy wheeze
I looked through the keyhole
Nearly went deaf, dumb and blind
That big hairy fat kid makes me want to chop off my balls

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