I Am Not God (Intro)

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Emma Ndire

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I've always known that I was never perfect
The world has always made a point to remind me of it
But perfection has always been expected of me
Throughout every aspect of my life, any failures that I would commit would always be magnified
I would be made to feel like I made the biggest mistake in the entirety of human history
So I adapted, learned to make mistakes privately and deal with them quietly
But even as I broke away from people's expectations of me
years of striving for perfection had begun to take a toll on me, emotionally and mentally
I started to chastise those around me for not striving for perfection like I did
not being able to handle pain like I did
I saw it as weakness
I didn't notice it
For the longest time, I remained unaware of what I was doing and why I was doing it
See, I always thought that perfection was required from everyone
I was unable to look past my own experiences and opinions about how the world actually works
I've been on a very long spiritual journey, finding God through my own experience and at my own pace
I've had to reconstruct my ideas about this supreme being
establish a direct connection to Her and learn how to lay my heart bare
to allow myself be exploited the way She sees best
I've had to rebuild faith, teach myself to lean on faith during times of drought and storm
I thought about this a lot
God expects nothing of us than to have a genuine, full human experience
So, I've had to learn how to feel, learn how to trust, learn how to care
I've had to allow myself to make mistakes openly, admit failures honestly
try once, try again, try as many times as I possibly can
I had to learn how to go through pain without feeling as though it is deserved
The human experience was never meant to be perfect
I feel God in every situation, no matter how horrible or amazing
I see God in everything and in everyone, no matter how terrible or righteous
I can never expect to be perfect, because I am human, I am not God
Cause I am not God
I feel, I fail and I fall
Rise above all
Mistakes and fears that I own
I am not God
Cause I am not God
I feel, I fail and I fall
Rise above all
Mistakes and fears that I own
I am not God

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