MANIFESTO OF A STRAY DOG

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Raoi

4:44

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I'm sorry for not having faith in... any of this but um... I mean its never worked before so why would it start now? (YOU COULD HAVE ANYBODY, YOU DON'T WANT ME x8)

I'll probably turn this off as soon as I hear my voice
All I'm good for is service, that's why I never make noise
My teeth are turning to chalk and now I'm breathing in dust
Asked any god to send a message, now its people I trust
And I don't know who I am, I only be who I must
And if you need me then I'll be there till my shell starts to rust

And if I need you, you won't be there cause you'd never even know
Of course I'm fucking sick its cause I still can't find a home
And I can't deal with my problems only reaping what I've sewn
When I'm seeing through your eyes my skin is clinging to the bones

I only write from my perspective because all my thoughts are selfish
and I only talk to people I think I could see myself in
Keeping to myself all of the horrid things I've felt and
If you truly knew me you'd leave anywhere I've dwelled in

(I've got) Nothing to provide but you still haven't left yet
You never say a thing while I bleed through my bedspread
Still can't help but flinch when I hear noise coming towards me
Can't you tell I hide away so that its easy to ignore me

But I'm selfish, it all comes back to that
I can't help but want your love and so I'm forced to wear a mask
but Its fragile and transparent, lips are shredded by the glass
I stay quiet through it all and I take shallow breaths in gasps

I'm through with saying what I'm doing because no one really cares
Really I'm so quiet that they couldn't even hear
Its like not talking again as I pass through years
I've still got the same feeling that I'm not even real

There's gaps in our memories that I can never fill
Wait until you realize I can't help you up that hill
Wait until you realize I can't help you at all
I can't meet your expectations, I can't catch you when you fall

But I still hope you feel the same
Cause it feels like all my friendships are a figment of my brain

I still feel blood on my face and a gun beneath my seat
Keep my hand around a knife when I'm walking through the street
And I gave up on the razors but I still can't seem to eat
I just want someone to notice so I post but then delete
All these ashes that I breathe, crush a pill between my teeth
Please give me a reason just to stay or just to leave

And I don't deserve your pity
I'll just bite your open hand
I'm not talking to a person
This is all I understand

Sometimes I wish you didn't care
Sometimes I think that you don't care
And I'm still not gonna say shit cause I know you'd never care
And I wish that I could make it so I didn't even care

How you see me
I'd rather [THIS PART WAS SCRATCHED OUT] cause I don't even wanna be me
And I've stopped sharing my thoughts cause they're "edgy" and "depressing"
Tell me why you need me, wish you'd never had to meet me

And I don't deserve your pity
I'll just bite your open hand

The only future that I see is that I'll just be left behind
Cause I just can't seem to speak when people talk
The only plans they have for me is my body in a ditch left to find
In the end they don't make graves for stray dogs

I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED IT (YOU COULD HAVE ANYBODY, YOU DON'T WANT ME x8)

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