by the grain

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autumndropsdead

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Realistically wasting my time, and
Don't claim you understand
You'll run out of road if you're way too gassed
We'll never last this
I wanna know myself 'foreIshould take my life

The other side's so inviting
Why you hanging 'round the wrong peers?
2D smiles but they're full of fear
I can see through the white lies
F*ck a check, i ain't switch sides
Matter of fact, thinkI'llown mine
Call it wraps, called her 5 times
Colon cramps, body's prolly fine
I been worse, and burnt more ties than mountains climbed
What the f*ck

I hardly get any rest
WhenIlay me some ground
All my dreams make me sweat
Well, honestly what'dIexpect, i'm a tremor
Who's born to make course with a crest
And since you've got room to assume,
I'll repaint the walls to a shade you once knew
ButI'llsay it once to conclude
It's only to falter youth

Sending it down through my face to my gut
Fireworks sound while i've waited enough
I ain't care much, i been down on my love shit
After effect of it damage and lunges
Kicking and punching
Wonder and covet
Smoke in this ovenIclaim to be nothing
Under the covers, i wake into sunder
And panic then start to malfunction
These eyes are so indecisive
Catching the sights that are so uninvited
Well, anything but ultraviolet
Going outside, my anxiety heightens
SoI'llstay inside and be silent
Minus the music and all of the crying
Don't keep a snooze 'cause i'm up when the sky dim
Yet prone to mute and respond autopilot

She told me that i'm smart
"I'm better than that?"
She told meIcan start to feel something
She told meIcould be something greater
Then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

No one
To lend a hand
Through the sawdust
In this foreign land
Is this all that you want?
Forever we run, even if we're not
Indefinite rot
Smoldered lungs whileItalk

And no it ain't from the green
From birth i've been clean
ButIkinda wanna be, to escape reality
No way this life was meant for me
Never willIcome to be fine with low expectancies
I'm fucking selfish, can't you see?
A frozen-hearted entity
Thaw the guard that shadows me
Too intolerant to speak
Cut my lips and break my teeth
Numb my limbs, but make it brief
I've got nowhere else to be
But miss the way it used to be
Did you feel the same for me

My eyes cry with the help of high life
Can't you tellIrepel with a fat lie
Any sort of love will numb me; numb enough to pass life
I sense two decisions
One's to splurge my thoughts and cast rhymes

It was 8 in the morning, i'm shipped like i'm cargo
Heart in my chest beating out like a bongo
Swipin' a scan of myself like a bar code
Way past the date by some days, not alarmed though
Rotten a bit, feelin' sick, sorta rank
'Lil bit of soap, it could wash out the stains
I ain't been fuckin' with none of y'all lames
A couple of plays, now you thinkin' you great
This not a game, f*ck a charade
Pressing the keys untilIfeel okay
Throughout the day
'TillIcollapse and wake up on my face
Block out the sound with a video game
Or something to drink
Lemon and sugar remind me of fate
It's sorta sour but sweet by the grain
Sweet by the grain, ay

She told meIwas smart
"I'm better than that?"
She told meIcan feel something
She told meIcould be something greater
Then she left a hole inside my chest, like a crater

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