The caps lock Ballad of Anthony Garubo

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Sloths are arboreal mammals noted for slowness of movement and for spending most of their lives hanging upside down in the trees of the tropical rainforests of South America and Central America. The six species are in two families: two-toed sloths and three-toed sloths. In spite of this traditional naming, all sloths actually have three toes. The two-toed sloths have two digits, or fingers, on each forelimb.The sloth is so named because of its very low metabolism and deliberate movements, sloth being related to the word slow. This is an evolutionary adaptation to their low-energy diet of leaves, and to avoid detection by predatory hawks and cats who hunt by sight. Sloths are almost helpless on the ground, but are able to swim. The grooved hairs of the sloth's… more »

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Once upon a time I did laundry in my house, downstairs
You could do a full load, without a thought or a care
Until one day, one faithful day, a load went in that turned me gray
It was a load that
Clogged my slop sink
Flood my basement
Like it was nothing
So I called Anthony Garubo
Anthony Garubo, Lord
Anthony Garubo said your basements flooded
I'll send a plumber
I said great
He said, he'd be there at eight
Sounds good
Sounds good, Anthony Garubo
Sounds good
Sounds good, Anthony Garubo
So the plumber comes, says he's all done
Garubo says it's time to let that washer run
I say great, he says wait- you still owe me money for clogging that sink, Blik
I say hold on, Mr. Garubo, I don't think that you know
It was your sink that clogged, spilled out on the floor, I was left cleaning it all
I was shop vac-ing all night
What gives you the right
To suggest that I shouldn't put that floor water back in the sink
What really makes you think
I wasn't left on the brink
Due to your clogged pipe sink
Overflowing leaving my basement a drink
Anthony Garubo gremlin man
Charging me for things not in my hands
Anthony Garubo I reprimand
I bet you put the water in there, that was your plan
Little Anthony Garubo gremlin man
Pourin' buckets of water hand over hand
Dousing my hosing I don't understand
Anthony Garubo I'm not a fan
Shame on
Shame on, Anthony Garubo
Shame on
Shame on, Anthony Garubo
It's flooding again
The basement goddamnit, it's flooding
The sink is clogged
The goddamn washer's overflowing into my basement again
I knew it wasn't a one time thing
The basement's flooding
The basement's flooding
That goddamn Anthony Garubo he lied to me
My basement's flooding
It's overflowing, it's coming
The basement, she's flooding
I'm drowning
I'm drowning
Please
Please

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