Sharks in Bathtubs

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Fishbait

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Evening routines with Mommy
It's time for a bath
She draws the water warm
Then says she'll be back
I've got not a worry
Just a' splish splash splash
Until I felt something scaly
Brush against my ass

Dorsal fins and rubber duckies
This far north it seems unlucky
That a fish of such monstrous stature
Might end up within my bathroom

They're circling around me
They gnash their teeth
Enamored by my pinkness
And what's underneath
I felt the hope drain from me
Or maybe it's just pee
But then from the water
Breached a submarine

Dorsal fins and rubber duckies
This far north it seems unlucky
That a fish of such monstrous stature
Might end up within my bathroom
Hold my breath, I'm sure it's over
But the U.S.S. Shark Exploder's
Torpedoes are armed and ready
Blow that shark into confetti

A red tide is calming down
It's almost serene
Shark bits float by my raft
They're blown to smithereens
The captain waves to me
Atop his submarine
I wave back gratefully
As they submerge to sea

Dorsal fins and rubber duckies
This far north it seems unlucky
That a fish of such monstrous stature
Might end up within my bathroom
But alas I'm a survivor
With some help from firepower
Then a hand falls on my shoulder
Mommy says bathtime is over

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