Pathetic Coward Narcissist Loser

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The Prophet Obblonge

Erupting with preaching performances, The Prophet Obblonge explains, proclaims, transmutes, and delivers clarity to the masses for their edification and to bring awareness to the still uncertain fate of his beloved fiancé, last seen with a white supremacist narcissistic abuser in Michigan. Fans of horror fiction, true life drama, comedy, and pointed social commentary alike find Obblonge’s insightful, exasperated gospel to be an invigorating, motivating experience presented without fear of reproach or regret. What’s your problem? Issues resolved. Crises averted. Wonders explained. Be amazed. Lost? Depressed? Questions? The answers are waiting…. Everything is the repetition offa pattern. Everything. You can pretend you have free will. You can pretend you hav… more »

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Hi, I'm the Prophet Obblonge
I'm better in every conceivable way than the tiny penis
Racist hate group member, fat fucking slob you are currently living with
Smarter, more attractive physically, funnier, penis more than twice his size and girth
As reported

So much better at participating in sexual activities it isn't even in the same category
Your best friend, your equal, the blue eyed boy next door that you told your
Family was your soulmate when you were 18 and I was 8
Your perfect counterpart

Compassionate and loving
An infinite attention span, stimulating conversation list
We don't have to modify our speech to communicate
You are the most intelligent person I have ever met

You are truly the sexiest woman to ever exist
Brown hair, hazel eyes, petite, looking up to kiss me
Please bring yourself, the clothes you are wearing, and a case of zip fizz

You know what's really awesome about this
I mean way fucking cool
That the pathetic coward narcissist loser Thomas Wayne Randle
A man with a very tiny penis, can't complain or say anything

What's he gonna do, sue me
By all means, man
That would be ultra neato
Bring me free publicity

As it is, I've got to generate it all
Juggle and eat fire and balance balls on my nose
If he could just sue me publicists would line up like ambulance chasers and insure a nice
Clean high-def live camera on Patty as she reads her gospel on a witness stand

And then leaves the courtroom with me
And we have a season of a reality show
She's photogenic for sure
I'm not horribly asymmetrical
And he's a genuine monster

He looks exactly like a picture of everything I'm accusing him of in a dictionary
She doesn't use certain words and I only use them
That's funny
And neither of us ever shut up

Someone else has got to edit that dialogue, man
That is not my job

I think I've figured out a way, he intoned
Sounding almost bored, or maybe reminiscing about the process that led up to it
To erase the ability of the human species to feel happiness, within a few generations
She is naked, lying in a bathtub full of now room-temperature water, headphones on and head

Listing to one side
She opens her eyes and stares at the line where the water meets the side of the tub
Neither a smile nor a grimace expresses itself on her petite lips

Complete refusal to learn from mistakes or accidental successes
Step on the head of the one in front of you and sink it underwater as you ford the brook
Take and immediately destroy and irresponsibly dispose of

Replacing the sadistic pain and suffering caused to others
In the place where happiness from accomplishment and empathy could have been fostered
A wannabe demon, not real evil

Real evil is actually a threat on a mass scale
That can only occur with the stealth of hiding in plain sight while wearing a sandwich ad sign
Being able to shove packaged food into one's mouth does not impress the recruiters
On either side of the moral conflict

If demons exist and eat souls, then Tommy and his lookalikes are still quite safe
Nothing to see here, just plaster garden gnomes

I would rather be temporarily conjoined with a rotting dog carcass than to ever touch
Pamela's skin again
To think I was inside her even once putrefies every fiber of my being
To even touch the event horizon of such a black hole of selfishness
Is to encounter something so misshapen it defies categorization in a human mind
The purest form of monstrosity from a Lovecraftian nightmare

My neighbor Pamela has the second ugliest pussy I've ever seen
At 44 years of age I estimate my senses have reported to my brain highly detailed images
Of about, very rough estimate, 2 million pussies
Slightly less than 100 experienced in person, the rest through magazine and video feed

I have a valid opinion on this subject and could type many more delightful
Sentences discussing pussies
Poor underachieving Pamela
Couldn't even come first in an ugly pussy contest

He only buys porn with brand names like Penthouse and Hustler
Even though he has cohabitated, in separate rooms of course, with a goddess for 18 years
Even though she hates it and she pleads with him that it's degrading
He still insists on never getting a blowjob

Instead he'll pretend, like he always does, that he's someone else, someone he thinks is cool
And insists on masturbating in her hair and on her face
Because sex to him, everything to him
And I speak of the pathetic coward narcissist loser Thomas Wayne Randle
Is a desperate lie where he pretends he has power and is somehow important

Even though the man has never once had an original thought in his entire wasted existence
A waster of life and time
28 years of Rogaine with Minoxidil, an ingredient found in laboratory rat urine

Both crying for and resenting his mumma, sexually stimulated by his memories of when she'd spank him

Everyone, your entire life, has been trying desperately to teach you to have any qualities
Whatsoever that anyone, anywhere, could ever desire
You are unlovable
No one would ever desire your company

Repulsive
Repugnant
You need to be recycled down to base materials
Molecules, atoms

Maybe you should be obliterated to the subatomic level
The farthest you can be dissipated, to eliminate your disease
Defectiveness such as yours must be erased utterly

You fail to value anything that is of worth
You have a limited unknown amount of time and choose to spend it in a
Constant state of panic, concerned with possibilities that only
Manifest due to your placing of artificial structures over the objective facts of the
Reality outside of your subjective experience

You do realize that there is a subjective and an objective reality, correct
That what you think of at any given moment is not real
You don't, do you
Our patience is growing short

You have extremely little time left to reconcile your discrepancy in viewpoint
You will not be told again
This is your fucking chance
If you need help, ask

Failure to do so will result in the termination of you, the problem

Well actually the goal is to replace all the jobs with a computer
Because all jobs are menial aren't they
Then once all the menial tasks are taken care of
Then we'll have only really important questions to solve all together as a group, won't we

Like death, and what the universe is really made out of, what gravity and magnetism actually is
And not just how to use it or measure it
Things of that nature
Instead of being concerned about your menial jobs

Maybe you should help replace them because you weren't born to work
You weren't born to have an occupation
Were you

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