Quake Rap

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Scared Boy

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Welcome to LA

Now I'm not the kind of guy who tends to rap
James Taylor's more the type who gets my toes to tap
But now I'm here to say that ever since the quake happened
This slice of white bread just can't stop rappin'

'Cause a man gets jumpy and he can't stop talkin'
When he's standin' still and the street starts walkin'
I was born where the only thing that sways is the wheat
Let the earth do its movin' under Carole King's feet

Hey, when I moved to LA last February
I just never imagined it would get so hairy
I need Valium, Librium, Sominex, too
What's a man from a prairie state supposed to do

You see, I came out West from the Land of Lincoln
Where there ain't much to do, but at least it ain't sinkin'
All the years they were callin' it my kind of town
I never realized Chicago had my kind of ground

Sure, Chicago's got its faults, it don't leave houses in splinters
Though "They Died With Their Boots On" could refer to the winters
But what good's it gonna do to get rich in LA
If the earth opens up and eats my Bentley someday

I'm talkin' quake, quake, quake
I'm talkin' shake, shake, shake, shake
Six point one, one, one
Kingdom come, come, come

Now I don't want to give the city more hard knocks
But while we're on the subject, what's with aftershocks
They just perpetuate the seismic situation
Hey, does everything out here go into syndication

Just when you're back sittin' at, instead of under, your desk
California reverts to a state of unrest
Soon you're divin' in your doorway and you're sayin' your prayers
Every time the neighbor's kid runs a lap upstairs

Well, the shiftin' bottom line is we may be headin'
Toward that long-predicted Southern California Armageddon
How many more quakes? How many aftershocks
Before "I think it's the big one," to quote Redd Foxx

Now the laid-back feel, if the city tumbles
Hey, that's how the Mrs. Fields cookie store crumbles
But I ain't so sure I want my friends and folks
To come and see my place from glass-bottom boats

I'm talkin' quake, quake, quake
I'm talkin' shake, shake, shake, shake
Six point one, one, one
Kingdom come, come, come

And welcome back to LA


Well, there I go again
Well, there I go again

Yeah, LA's been great, but it's time, I'm certain
To put the wind-chill factor back in my windsurfin'
It's not that I want to be that much colder
It's just that I'm sorta into gettin' older

I'm talkin' quake, quake, (Gonna pack) quake
I'm talkin' shake, shake, (I'm movin back) shake, shake
Six point one, one, (Across the map) one
Kingdom come

It's a (w)rap

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