Affected by Grief

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Policari

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I need some time
He need some time
Some of the time
All of the time
I have some words that I cannot speak
Things that have happened, lowest to peak
I know what it is, I know that it's grief
I cannot hate its something I don't need
I can feel anger I know where it leads
I can't wish death cos it messes my means
Loosing myself but I'm still on my feet
Only thing going is me and these beats
I had a smile before I first grieved.
Brother in army thats his only dream
My councillors words like a light and a beam
Grieving before it all happens it seems
I had a fight with my brother last week
Cussing and swearing he'd still let my speak
I broke down his actions and he called me weak
Thats my old brother I know he's unique
I wonder if he looks to me as unique
All of the men in my family don't speak
Raised by these men and it affected me
Taught by the women that we are not weak
All of this pain at the age 17
Attachment issues affected by me
I sent my brother a text last night
He never replied cos he's me and he's mean
I feel like the median I'm in the middle
More then the medium still I feel little
All of the issues since we was just little
My father belittle these words I would riddle
Would take me a place where I was my own symbol
Away from the signal but close to the whistle if
I wasn't writing was on the court dribbling
Since I'm a sibling
Im'a keep him at sing
I need some time.
He need some time.
Some of the time.
All of the time.
Friend told me meditation was a key I said
I can't afford more room like IKEA but
I will consider it when I might be there
I close my eyes and then I picture me there
Cold in Alaska I spot about 3 bear
Me on the ice if I break will he care
Times that I say I do not want to be there and
Times that I'm grateful I know I can breathe air
All that you hear I am willing to share I think
Music is more then just musical chairs it puts
You in that chair but it makes you think where
What have you done that he hasn't to be there
Many times I wish that I wasn't there then I
Think about loss how to find you through prayer but I
Think I'm too young to think about his share cos I
Need to find my own from years on this chair
I have some words that I can speak
Things that have
Happened happened to me
I know what it is
I know that its grief
I cannot hate it's something I don't need
I can feel anger I know where it leads
I can't wish death cos it messes my means
Gaining myself but I'm still on my feet
Only thing going is my family
I always say sorry because I should treat
Everyone else thats affected by me
A way where my love is as perfect as he
I may just be wrong I'm affected by grief
I had a fight with my brother last week
Cussing and swearing he'd still let my speak
I sent him a text and I said that I'm sorry cos
That's my old brother and always I worry I'm sorry

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