Knife in Pocket

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I got what I need, still I feel all alone
Hear the phone buzz, let it disconnect by the tone
Moving differently, every each to their own
Every 1, every 10, every 3 10 zone
Look at the tone on a painting
A question to find the atone indicating
How can an artist be different I'm saying
Cos everyones got a lil something their making

Got no creator, I'm just one team player
I know I'm not greater than one who has made
When I'm to die, I want to be cremated
By mountains they sacred, by trees that are shaded

I wanna play just like Shai
And say that I did from the mini to lay
Now that I'm older, it's like Golden State
Cause I wanna take risks
But don't wanna take risks by the bay

Tell me what's worse
Dying from the lie or living with the curse
One would take time and I'd say that's a curse
But the other takes everything, that's what'll hurt

A few weeks ago he told me I can't save him
The girl that tried picking became the one traded
He's changing for better
I say keep his head up
Watch out for the set ups
To try get him wet up
Won't let up
FTB he sped up
BPD he fed
The feds they won't give up
But I know he'll get up

Gotta give up all the red cups
Foot on the pedal
Leave drinks that we mix up
Wind up
I gotta stay tough
Not by a choice by the visions I had growing up
I gotta play rough if you were to cross me or cross him
To understand both you'd have to take a loss

Knife in my pocket
I thought I was hard or maybe I was
Scarred from the feeling of living with
Knife from afar
Many nights were a far
From my father afar
I would offer a laugh
I was off in the stars

Head on the glass in the car
Holding my breath for every car that we pass
Hoping one day every car that I pass
Will know me as the artist who made it this far
You'll find me dreaming on top of a star
I've had a fear that my life will end soon
It's up from here like the house with the blown
Yet it's going straight down, I see
Land not the moon
All that I knew I'd create
Ideas not finished but thats just my fate
Maybe thats my forte it's my future forsay

When I'm to die
Don't perceive me as something you didn't see when I was still alive
Your regular guy
The day I arrived it was more than the regular shift 9 to 5
From 5 to 9 I was filming the world where ideas will contrive
Everything thrives
Pain that I brought to myself
And pain that I felt it was me vs the world
Work to my wealth then it's me and the world

Please do not let the death of myself be the reason this record will sell
I wanna feel great, as great as a god
Hoping to feel so great about my self
The truth I'ma tell
Waited too long I see dust on the top of these shelves
What is a life without yourself involved
Some would say a problem solved
The death of yourself, never known it's unsolved
The loss of a soul, solution you solve

Bullet to head, it's never just one hole
Even in summer to family it's cold
Talking my friend out of swallowing pills
The same one he needs, they prescribed just to kill
Think of your family, this must feel so real
And think your mother, how would this all feel

I say to myself that I know it gets better
Shit ain't been great so I wrote me this letter
And since the beginning had to keep my head up
Your life can't change if you don't change it never
More than just pain, you running around with
Moralise change, something you're proud with
Cuts that we took, to get around it
It's all too short, make the most of it

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