F**K Everything

Jon LajoieJon Lajoie 

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Jon Lajoie

Jonathan Lajoie ( lə-ZHWAH; born August 21, 1980) is a Canadian comedian, actor, rapper, singer, musician, and Internet celebrity from Montreal, Quebec. He gained fame mostly from his eponymous YouTube channel, posting comedic original songs (often as rapper characters, such as "Everyday Normal Guy") and comedy skits. Lajoie is also known for his role as Taco MacArthur on the FXX comedy series The League. Since 2016, he has released indie folk music under the moniker Wolfie's Just Fine. more »

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Yo
All the rappers claim to not give a f*ck
Well, step aside bitches
'Cause I give the lowest amount of f*ck humanly possible
What?

(I don't a give a f*ck)
About anything, f*ck everyone and f*ck everything, what?
(I don't give a f*ck)
I literally don't give a f*ck about anything

I don't give a f*ck about motherfuckin' anything
People care about shit, I say, "F*ck everything"
F*ck you, f*ck me, f*ck the sky, f*ck trees, f*ck the sun
I don't need heat or vitamin D
And f*ck toasters, I don't need to cook my bread
And f*ck coasters, I use a little plate instead
And f*ck roosters, with their useless "cockadoodledoo"
We invented alarm clocks, we no longer need you
Don't give a f*ck about chairs, I prefer to stand
And f*ck air conditioners, I got a ceiling fan
And f*ck the the movie the fan, starring Wesley Snipes
"Demolition man"'s the only snipes movie I liked
And f*ck liking shit, I don't even like the stuff that I like
Don't give a f*ck about not liking all the shit I don't like
Like tissues, f*ck them, I blow my nose on the couch
And f*ck my nostrils and my sense of smell, I breathe through my mouth
Don't give a f*ck about seeing bitch, f*ck my eyes
F*ck visual perception, yo, I'd rather be blind
F*ck time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke
And hours are way too long, they should be half an hour at most
And f*ck coasts, who gives a f*ck about where water meets land
And f*ck boats, just because you float you think you're so fucking bad
And f*ck jokes, I don't need to be funny all the time
My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, but

(I don't a give a f*ck)
About anything, f*ck everyone and f*ck everything, what?
(I don't give a f*ck)
I literally don't give a f*ck about anything

Walked into a coffee shop and ordered a cup
The girl says, "Small, medium, large?"
I say, "Bitch I don't give a f*ck"
She said, "I can't process your order if you don't pick a size"
I said, "Fine, I'll take a large, but I still don't give a f*ck, alright?"
Don't give a f*ck about beverage size options, motherfucker
And I don't give a f*ck about liquids either
They're all wet and shit and tend to spill all over the place
Like human semen when I get it all over my face
I'm not gay, I just don't give a f*ck about straight sex
And f*ck my dick, I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead
F*ck biological functions, f*ck the human body
I prefer the body of a bat with the head of a coyote
I call myself "batyote" and I fight crime at night
I know its similar to Batman but motherfuck copyright
I plagiarize all the time, I do it everyday
'Cause I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way
And f*ck birth, entering the world of space and time is a bitch
Searching for purpose in the random universe sucks dick
Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way?
Did I choose to not give a f*ck about ice cube trays?
If I want ice I'll go to the fucking corner store and buy a bag
Filling you up and waiting for the water to freeze is a motherfucking drag
You know what? F*ck the word f*ck, I don't need to use it
I'll replace it with the word chainsaw for this chorus

(I don't a give a chainsaw)
About anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything, what?
(I don't give a chainsaw)
I literally don't give a chainsaw about anything

If there was a contest to see who doesn't give a f*ck the most
I wouldn't win cause I don't give a f*ck about winning, yo
I don't even give a f*ck about not giving a f*ck
So I do give a f*ck wait, what?

(I give a f*ck)
About everything, I love everyone and care about everything, what?
(I give a f*ck)
I literally care about every motherfucking thing

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