Bye Bye Bye Anxiety

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Thought Brownie

5:20

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From the time I wake, till when I go to sleep
Choices I make, pile up in a heap
Outnumbered, encumbered by decision fatigue
The smallest of things feels out of my league
Each turn I take, I can't catch a break
So much at stake, I'm afraid of mistakes
What will they say, if I get it wrong?
I must think long and prove my mind is strong
Overwhelmed each time I need to choose
Force myself to get it right I can never lose
I can never cut loose and with all my might
Hold tight despite my weakened plight
Chasing milestones, occasional wins
Made pausing for delight feel wrong, like a sin
I'm so stressed to the bone, does this come from within
Who's this puppet master that controls my strings
I feel so attached, so bogged down
What sparked joy is a thorny crown
I loved the notion of being grown up
When and how did this ocean dry up
Since when did I begin to feel like I'm on stage
Each move scrutinized, everyone engaged
Everyone enraged, waiting for me to trip
Fully on their radar I'm not just a blip
I can't jump ship I'm stuck in a rut
I'm drained of blood from a thousand little cuts
As expectations from society, the need for propriety
In many, many ways, exacerbates my anxiety
Eventually, the penny had to drop
Either that, or my veins might have popped
Before the rug was pulled from under my feet
I had to pull the plug and beat a hasty retreat
I took the opportunity to get introspective
Stepped into a vortex for total perspective
I learned that irrespective of anything I do
I'm less than microscopic in the overall view
In a flash, everything made sense
Most of what I did was of no consequence
So is most of what you do, no offence
I relaxed, got a chance to drop the pretense
My ego left and then it all felt right
All that was left was a light shining bright
Guiding me up a path that was filled with delight
What a lovely sight, from such great heights
Just one big bang, so many little sparks
Twinkled like stars, drove away the dark
One life, a few goals, many, many days
Infinite moments, come on, let's play
Yes, and it begins with once upon a long ago
Surf on every wave and tackle all the highs and lows
Yes, and I am open to taking every ride
My heart gets bigger, my smile so wide
Yes, and it's crazy, so let's give it a shot
Go for it, go for it, no second thought
Yes, and I will relish each new start
Move my feet in tune to the beat of my heart
Yes, and please pick if we go left or right
Doesn't really matter, cause with you it feels right
Yes, and there is goodness in whatever I chose
With the right kind of mind, anything goes
Yes, and let me let my life take a new turn
Yes, and I will never stop, so much to learn
Yes, and with an open mind I start to embrace
Since I stopped judging, things just fell into place
From the time I wake, till when I go to sleep
Choices I make, I sow, I reap
I keep growing this treasure each day
I reshape my life's landscape
Each turn I take is a lucky break
Nothing at stake, no more mistakes
Doesn't really matter, if I get it wrong
From within I'm strong I'll move along
Cut myself some slack, each time I get to choose
Sometimes I'll screw up, sometimes I might lose
Sometimes I might win, and then it feels nice
No matter what I get to learn every single time
Neuroses disappear
When fingers are snapped
I've got the power I'm laid back, I withstand the attacks
Of the pricks from the thorns that emerge from within
They so blunt, they leave no scratch on my skin
I'll try to know better, try to do better
Comes from within, not from outer pressure
At the moments when I faltered, I got to grow
Everything a process, I let go of goals
Let go of milestones, of the need to win
I quit seeking shelter against the wind
My mind so free, it might seem unhinged
Unshackled, unchained, unattached, no strings
Unclutter my days, breathe, breathe in the air
Make time for everything, except for despair
Reflect on regrets, and though I can't change the past
Try my best to be kind, till I breathe my last
Bye, bye, bye, anxiety
I'm an older millennial, that yearns for glee
I'll take it step by step, that's my only guarantee
You see, whatever will be, will be

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