Christmas Rap 2023

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Horse Hunters

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The festive season might test your reason
But for me it's a chance to season like a cast iron pan
I'm the last iron man
God gave me heart like
I'm Alice in Christmas land

You can't understand this I'm speaking
Christmas language of courseses
I never stop cunting
I never stop hunting like
Horseses
You can't stand mass
The North Pole is my favourite land mass

'Tis the season for a Christmas treason
So I rode a horse like it was my friend
Down the road I took my steed
And round the bend I saw my friend
Jackson Bailey Davis
Named after a horse
Held my father's shotgun
Typically kept above the fireplace
He took it down from the fireplace
Used to hunt a horse
Seven generations ago
He died five generations ago
I count to fifty three
(One, two, three, four, f)
Y'all ever seen a film
A christmas film
I ain't never seen a christmas fil m with horses in it
I dismount and once again count
(One)
This isn't like a film with horses in it
This is a song with horses in it
Father told me to get my own place
I looked into Christmas towns
Found a place in Finland with some towns
The North Pole is not a land mass

It's Christmas time
Drink some wine (wine)
Don't you know it's time to shine
Rise and shine
Like morning time
Christmas presents in the morning time
Open them up
Good shit
Ho ho ho (Eeh)
Santa likes to go (Yeah)
Around to houses leaving presents yo (Ooh)
You better be good
Cause you never know (Yah)
If he'll eat you in your sleep oh no oh no (Hoo hoo hoo)
That would be unfortunate (Yo)
Not good at all (Ey)
I was told to write some bars so l'll lay em down (Ey)
Come take a trip with me to Christmas town (Okay)
There's snow and elves and snow and ice (Yah)
Ice on my wrist am I right? (Yeaaahhh)

Christmas is coming
Shoutout my boy Krampus
He brings me presents
He's better than Santa
Riding on Santa's sleigh
Pulled by reindeer not horses, okay
I'm not named after a horse, motherfucker

Just to reiterate on my point about the horses
Even if I was named after a horse
It would probably Rudolf
Because he's coolest of them all and yeah
(Rudolf is not a horseses)
We out here opening up our presents
While I'm embodied by the presence of the Lord
Jesus Christ
He's with me
He's my guy
Christmas Day open up my stockings
All I got was coal
That's a joke, I like
F*ck
I fucked it up
Let me start again (No)
Yes (This is all going in)
F*ck, w-okay
Let me just go straight from where I

Christmas Day open up my stockings
All I got was coal
That's okay, eat that shit
Put on more mass than the North Pole

CHRISTMAS DAY OPEN UP MY PRESENTS
ALL I GOT WAS COAL
THAT'S OKAY, EAT THAT SHIT
I GOT MORE MASS THAN THE NORTH POLE

Shoutout Christmas Music
I like hearing the sounds in my ears
Like the jingle and the sound of the sleigh in the sky
I don't mind when the Christmas guy comes by
Delivering me presents
That don't make me want to cry (Aw)
Horse (Ew)

Did you get the "I'm not a horse" bit? (Um, it's fine)
Oh, okay
Honestly, this is like the most ideal way of doing this
(Just keep going, I'm still recording)
(Yeah, just)
It's alright, B-roll is like
(Jackson, shut the f*ck up)
(Augh)
I'm hanging from the branch of a tree
Got that Christmas drip hanging all over me
A bird starts pecking out my eye
But I don't care
I don't need my eyes to see Christmas time
Oh yeah
(Jackson Barley Jarvis)
Like from Iron Man?
(What are you?)
(What are you?)
(What are you?)
Okay, I've got another one
(What are you?)
(What are you?)
(What are you?)
Are we still going? (Yeah)
Fire

I'm gonna hang Santa from my wall with a noose
I'm gonna kill him and rap around his neck
That's all
Because I don't like Santa
Shoutout Krampus
Krampus for the win 2020
2K23
Love that shit
Krampus all my life
Krampus all my love
Krampus all my soul

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