'Twas The Night Before Synthmas

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Andrew Pattenaude

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Twas the night before Synthmas, when all through the flat
 Not a creature was stirring, not even a rat

The stockings were hung on our exposed brick
Just off St. Nicholas in cozy Bushwick

The roommates were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of rent control danced in their heads

In warm pajamas and a knit sweater vest
I had just settled down for 6 hours at best
When out on the street there arose such a sound
I sprang from the bed to see who was around

Away to the window I flew with such speed
To see who was out there, what could they need?
The moon on the breast in this mighty borough
Gave the lustre of mid-day to the deli below

When, what do I happen to see with my lens
But a busted up van, and eight of my friends
With a little old driver, crocs worn in and snowy
I knew in a moment it's gotta be Joey

More rapid than eagles our homies then came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name
"Now, TOMMY! now, BOBBY! now, MORGAN and EION!
On, JILL! on MOLLIE! on, SYDNEY and LIV!
To the top of the state! to the top of it all!
Let's join the queue, let's drive through the sprawl!"

In a quick fluid motion, I quickly obtained
My dope fresh new fit that I bought from L Train
I stuffed my tote bag with Altoids and weed
I went to go my meet my homies with speed

We plugged in the address and hopped in the car
And off we went, to a land so far
A bundle of toys we had in the van
Some Uno, some Jackbox, a lovely game plan

The first stop approached us with enticing hues
What good is a roadtrip without any food?
A fried chicken sandwich had me thunderstruck
From Marcello at Friedas, our favorite food truck

Back on the road, to the queue I put
A banger to get the crew singing and hooked
The piano kicked in, we started to listen
All My Friends by LCD Soundsystem

We knew that our journey was well underway
Once buildings transformed into cows, goats and hay
Cut through the traffic like a cunning snake
We quickly approached the most Placid Lake

Arrived at the cabin, a glow from the moon
We saw Sean and Thomas, on their new Pontoon
On deck there was Chloe and Caroline as well
And Melanie with a great story to tell

Ian and Tim flew in on a plane
And Morgan Brown texted, "What time is the hang?"
The gang had united, the linking was done
The hours had passed with great festive fun

And they heard me exclaim, with a joyous delight,
HAPPY SYNTHMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!

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