R.O.T.C.

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Coley Xavier

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This is me, thinking to myself at 5:14 am
November 15th, 2015

Sometimes I wanna say f*ck rapping
I need money now
I'm bout to start trapping
Front me a lil ounce
Have it back in 15 minutes
I'm like "Boy, give me a pound
I got a nigga tryna get it right now"
He like "How?"
I say "All you gotta know is I know niggas who tryna get it like an owl
You don't know them, but they know you and it's wild
Guess they know you through #TheCrew
Yeah we get around"
Know not to cross us, cause they bound to get a round
F*ck with Cole, and you really bout to have a crooked smile
I was told to make a vow that I would always stand my ground
And that includes if I have to knock another nigga down
Leave him in the ground, don't wanna hear another sound
It's pretty clear that you the clown, court Jester
I'm the king with the crown, but I'm brown in this country
So I'm bound to fucking drown, I'm bound to fucking drown
Let me expound

It's not like I can be a, you know, a black man in today's society
And express my emotions freely
And still live up to the heteronormative standards
Of what, like, is hegemonic masculinity in today's society, you know
I can't just come out and say that...

Sometimes I doubt myself and I don't think that I can make it
Steady fighting demons, I'm leaving this world forsaken
These niggas the same age as me and they in better places in they career
Now my confidence starts to break
And all y'all songs on SoundCloud got at least a thousand plays
The listens you get it in hours, I get in a couple days
Maybe a week or two
F*ck it, at least I'm still getting paid
"You a waiter at the IHOP across from where you stay"
Well, okay, I need to see some brighter days
And by the way, Shekinah told me a long time ago that I would find a way
To be heard
The studio is my personal hideaway
I ain't proud of working for pennies, living the harder way
That's why I think I need to flip a dime in the meantime
F*ck a written rhyme, I just wanna write a check
The only way I'm getting signed is if I let them change my style
I swear to God, that's the only thing I'ma regret
F*ck these loans and this school, I'm 19 and in debt
My life's already fucked, I thought I did this shit correct
It's like you study chapter 7, but chapter 8 is the test
Or you miss the school bus, but your parents already left
For the job that they got, cause they work and they grown
They do it to pay the bills and pay back them student loans
On your back, about some chores, but on your back, you got some clothes
Nigga, be grateful that you got a place that you can call your home

And if you don't, I mean no harm, I mean no disrespect
But nowadays generation, see, we gotta chase a check
Everything is "What you got and what she got" and who's is best?
Competition, it's a competition better than the rest
It's the system that these people got embedded in our necks
Capitalism, time to play, ante up, I'm taking bets
Gotta play their game to win, and like I said, I'm still in debt, nigga
So I'm bout to get this fucking check, nigga
Acting up right now, you bout to get knocked down and left, nigga
Coley is the king in the game of life, this is chess, nigga
Open up my mind and realize that I'm the best spitter
Why throw it away to do some time and meet my death quicker?
I thought about my actions and the things that I had done
The decisions that I made, of the person I've become
Is it worth it, living by the streets, dying by the gun?
I don't know
But I know if I don't blow up as a rapper
Then for sure
I'll be an actor with a show
Lo and behold, I'ma chase the gold even when I'm running slow
And if you ain't know me when I was broke
Then you can't call me Cole
It's Coley to all you new niggas
With TC, that's #TheCrew, nigga
Shoutout to Jr. for letting me borrow this beat
Inspired by K. Lamar, this is my ROTC

And I'm the rapper of the crew

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