Carpenter's Son

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Ben's Xpresso

7:19

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Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin, mother and child
Holy infant, so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

WRONG!

As I recall,
That night was far from silent
And it was hardly holy
More like vastly violent
Very dark and ghostly
None of that romanticized rubbish
We tend to fantasize and love it
Excuse my African French
That's just me giving a passionate attempt
I've come back from the past to tell you what it was really like when this carpenter's son was born

Starting with how matchmaking almost made me marry Mary
She was a fine young sister like 1990s Halle Berry
So excited for her and I to tie the knot
Be one of them couples that smile a lot
So you can imagine how I felt when my lady pulled me aside one day
And said Joseph baby, I've got some news to share"
I hope it's something you can bear.
She told me she was...
She told me she was pregnant.

Buried my head in my hand in disbelief
She grabs me to calm me down I tell her just release
I'm angry and disappointed but I'll break things off quietly
Imma do that because I am a man of piety
And I wanna help you avoid being judged by our Jewish society
But as for me & you baby, it's over, entirely
She insisted that she was no whore
And that she really had kept herself pure
I was like, Oh really? So you just magically got knocked up
She said to me
This was a pregnancy produced by Holy Spirit power
What? Get away from me you unholy silly coward
You can't even own up to the truth of your trashy choices
Mxm, you know what, I'm out of here.
Imagine, Holy Spirit made her pregnant. Might be young but how dumb does she think I am?
Holy Spirit made her pregnant
I'm sure her and the so-called "Holy Spirit" had a lot of fun

Went to bed one night, while I slept and dreamed
Overwhelemd by bright lights and an epic beam
My eyes open to an aesthetic scene
As I saw this amazing angelic being
Gloriously telling me to stop tripping
Listen here Bra Joe,
Mary ain't no messy maiden who messed around
So make her your wife, respect the crown
Cause she's finna give birth to the one who gave birth to the universe. And she's pregnant with the Prince of Peace who was pregnant with every existing planets processes and particles.
I woke up and I was blown away
The angel had shown the way
What she said wasn't all a lie
She wasn't a depraved slut
So I went back and apologised
We kissed and made up

Many months later my Mrs Mary was ready to lay her egg
If i descrive all details from that day you'll dread
We didn't have private hospitals with paid for beds
A low-budget manger is where Yeshua laid his head
The Saviour was surrounded by sour smells
God from heaven descended into our hell
Not all heroes wear capes
Some of them become draped in human flesh & escape the tomb of death.
So as our cosmic Clarke Kent lay in the sheets
We got a visit from Gentile gents from the East
And our suspense reached a peak
Told us they were guided by a star
An ancient GPS
Patiently we stepped so we could
Pay the king respect
And frankly since they were thanking a prince They brought him gold, myhrr and Frankincense

But then power hungry King Herod had a toxic obsession
He was here to be first, not to be second
So when he heard he could be dropped in a second
He got angrier than Donald Trump after he Lost the election
So he brutalised all the baby boys of Bethlehem
Bo mme ba bashanyana crying 'cause of the death he sent
Angel appeared to me in a dream and said
There's a bounty on Jesus' head
So you better flee or he'll be dead
So because Herod was attacking the royal
We fled and became refugees on African soil
So I'm sure you'll understand why I'm surprised when I hear you guys sing cute little hymns about a silent night
When in reality we were ducking metaphorical bullets and running for our lives

But after the dust settled
We finally settled down in Nazareth
And I, Joe, watched this laaitie grow
I think back and I'm like, man
Mary and I were parenting God in the flesh
We fed him only for him to become our bread of life
We put him to sleep but he put our fears to bed for life
I taught him how to take barks and leaves and make furniture from parts of trees
But he would take broken parts of me and do spiritual carpentry
This is nothing but a fictional though forceful firsthand account
Of what it was like to be the stepfather of the Saviour of world
The only time in history when a father would raise a son only for that father to be raised by his son
Saved by his son
Changed by his son

Because of sin's stain my heart was in danger
But thank God the carpenter's son became this carpenter's Saviour

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