Wasting Away

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Valhildr

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Happy holidays
Especially to the zillenial kids without a family in their good graces
I've seen a lot of this lately and it's heartbreaking
Cuz I feel the same way
If there was a face I could put to a name
I wouldn't be able to help myself
I'd bend over in pain and turn the cheek the other way

I celebrated today a day ago
But I really didn't wanna bring it up though
Along with the rest of the shit I have to say
Like you wouldn't walk a half a mile in my shoes
Even if they were your last pair
So how in the flying f*ck is it fair that my brother
Younger than me barely by a year
Appears to be freer to chase his dreams
It's obvious in his photography
I'm impressed though
Those shots seem better than mine regardless if I'm referencing my attempts at escaping poverty

I keep myself locked in a closet like a Harry Potter novel
Despite wanting to do better for myself but it's hard when scarcity consistently plagues me
It's been this way since Blue's last clue was the only burden on my mind

I feel enstranged
For the first few years it was great
Now frankly it's been painstaking
Finding myself what they call a lost cause
I guess it was meant to be this way
Spending every hour of my waking days drowning in storm clouds trying to find my way out

But doubt holds me down
Cuz still after speaking with my crooked shadow
It has me constantly caught exhausted trying to jog my thoughts to explain the source of these fractured internal tangents that cohercely force me to paint more memories I'm masking the fact that the four year old child inside is still high off the idea that mommy still doesn't love me

So if I screamed your name, like in those older days
Would you come to help me
Why would you let it be this way

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