Somebody Farted On The Plane

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Tom McGovern

Thomas McGovern was an Irish professional footballer who played as a wing half and is best remembered for his time in the Southern League with Brentford, before, during and after the First World War. He also played in the Scottish League for Leith Athletic and in the Football League for Queens Park Rangers. more »

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Somebody farted on the plane
But no one knows who did it
I know there's somebody to blame
Cause now the cabin smells like somebody shitted

The odor hit me like a wave
And then the heads started turning
I can't let this person get away
Cause it smells just like a diaper is burning

Now I'm running down the aisle and I'm grabbing people by the shirt
(Was it you? Was it you? Tell me the truth)
Nobody's fessing up, but the smell keeps getting worse
(I know you smell it, I know you all smell it too)

The flight crew tries to take me down,
But I'm too goddamn strong
I make it to the front of the cabin and I grab the intercom,
And I say:

"Somebody farted on the plane
And now it's time to be honest
I want a face, I want a name
Then we can put an end to this, I promise"

The man in 27C
Stands up and takes the aisle
He says, "I'm sorry, it was me.
I drank some milk for the first time in a while"

I said "Why would you do that? Why were you drinking milk?"
He says "My mother loves it, and my mother's very ill"
"I'm on my way home to say my goodbyes,
So in honor of my Mom, I thought I'd give it a try"

Now the whole plane's crying and we're hugging it out
And I can't remember what I was so angry about
I tell him that I'm sorry if I caused him any pain,
Because he farted on the plane

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