In The Grotto (parody)

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Ben Coleman

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In a downtown mall
One little boy's been good all year
So now he gets to see Santa here
In the grotto
(In the grotto)

And his father smiles
Cause when he sees the young girl dressed as an elf
He knows that he will enjoy himself
In the grotto
(In the grotto)

People don't you understand
Santa's a frail old man
He needs a drink to help him through the day
Take a drop of whiskey here
And another pint of beer
Now he finds he can't remember what he has to say

And the young boy screams
Cause he wants lots of expensive toys
Just like all the other girls and boys
In the grotto
(In the grotto)

And his mama laughs
'Cause there's no sight like the young Chinese
Wetting himself on an old man's knee
In the grotto
(In the grotto)

And in this crazy situation Santa tells the boy
This is the last time that I'll see you
Cause very soon you'll know the truth

But before he goes
There's no toys left in the sack
So he gives them cash in a plastic bag
In the grotto
(In the grotto)

And as the children leave
Santa packs up all his gear
Now he's done for another year
In the grotto
(In the grotto)
In the grotto
(In the grotto)
In the grotto

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