ALL MY LIFE

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Markie J

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I ain't done this in a minute
Open up to someone and explain my feelings
Cause the last time I swore it was the last time
Cause the last time I told some lady how I was feeling
That was therapy I'm talkin bout and we dove deep
Even told her at night time I be counting sheep
Tryna fall asleep
But I can't cause every time I close my eyes these demons always try to get me
Then I gotta hide up underneath the sheets
Being suffocated
While everybody else is dedicated following they path
Working on they craft
Getting together with all of their loved ones so they can laugh
The point of the story she ain't care for me
The only reason why she was talking to me was for that paycheck
Then she told me that I need to get my life in check
Told me that the only thing to help me was that medication
I said f*ck that so I started meditating
All my feelings got me feeling jaded
Man I miss my brother Jayden
Yeah the devil got me running to the iron maiden
I been running even tho I know that I ain't got no destination cause
All my life I been running, running
Running from pain
Running from shame
Now I feel like my family just don't see me the same
Run
I ain't done this in a minute
Try and push myself way past my limits
Truth is I don't know what to say right now
Cause I'm feelin so numb to the pain right now
And I been living life for 21 years
And for 10 years I've been conquering my fears
The fears have nobody and ima die alone and
Not having anyone to ever call my phone
Maybe I will never have kids of my own
Maybe not even have a place to call my home, that's fine
I done fucking moved like a hundred damn times
People don't notice me I'm like a damn mime
I was waving and jumping and looking tryna get their attention but everybody's lookin right through me because I'm transparent
Had to grow up not having both parents
I'm a failure cause
All my life I been running, running
Running from pain
Running from shame
Now I feel like my family just don't see me the same run
All my life I been running, running
Running from love
Running from hope
Was using so many drugs just so I could cope yeah
I've been a failure for too long
Every single day I gotta grow strong
My bones they break
For goodness sake
I push you away to keep you safe
It's hard not to be this way
I've made way too many mistakes
I can't seem to break out of this cage
I let people invade my brain
Hey son
I just wanted to let you know, that I love you
Everything in life is gonna work out
And most of all, I believe in you

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer