Punch Me Til I'm Sober

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Cam Von Barren

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My fingers touch the world
It's warm and soft
Everyone is gentle and kind
And that's what I'm not
I long to be loved
It's never enough
I need protection
From chaos and from my mind's imperfection

My fingers touch my hair
My teeth bite my jaw
It makes me feel better
It feels like I'm in control

And I'd hurt everybody
Or sleep out in the snow
Whatever makes me feel
Anything at all

So punch me 'til I'm sober
And nail me to your cross
Who would die for the stupid worthless people?

And I started being afraid of heights (I'm the Universe)
When we'd up in the room with the trapdoor (I'm the ocean)
But I always thought 'if you try anything funny at least I can push you off' (I'm a movie)
And every day I want to tell somebody but then it's easier if I don't (In stop motion)
Did you really mean all the sick stuff you'd said to me? (I was the hurt)
Did you enjoy making me scared, trying to make me weak? (I was the flirt)
Did you like breaking me or was it natural, second skin? (I hid behind a skirt)
Now I'm older than you were (I am the shame)
And I'm scared as f*ck to talk to kids (I am to blame)
Oh let me drown the stars (If other people with my name)
And light up flowers like cigars (Don't like their name)

So punch me 'til I'm sober
And nail me to your cross
Who would die for the stupid worthless people?

And one thing I learned growing up is that everybody fears
To fall into the abyss (I am the doctor and this is meant to be a test, so do your best)
Some are just better at hiding it (Oh God hell yes, I will, but my best is my worst)
Other sit right on the edge of the cliff (And they told me I was gifted, well I wasn't even trying)
And if you picture yourself jumping off (I was too busy trying not to be caught lying)
Just know that everybody at some point did (To the nurse, who told me I was cursed, if I had no idea where I was or who I was)

So punch me 'til I'm sober (So I had to fake affection)
And nail me to your cross (Towards people I won't mention)
'Cause I would die for the stupid worthless people (And with a ridiculous passion)
I covered up my imperfections
Based my answers on a bunch of details I just kept guessing

So punch me 'til I'm sober
And nail me to your cross
'Cause I would die for the stupid worthless people

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