mist

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Twenty's

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a couple days, after the fact, she asked,
"whats wrong with you?"
i said, "a lot and you know that"
huh
then she just accused,
me of loving somebody else...
wait what?

like i was just okay and all good
from having to lose our affinity,
when really,
baby, i swear, i lost my ability,
to love
and ill never get it back because,
now i cant trust noone,
dont wanna be with someone,
id rather just ride out life,
waiting for my grave to come, yeah

but ill be okay and all good
cause i dont need someone to hold me
at least, thats what
ill say, when im at home feeling lonely
aint gonna, fill the void wit a bottle,
or a vape or a cig or model, no
aint like the rest of the world and culture
i wont sit in my sorrow,

aint gonna do what she did,
fill the space with some bodies,
moving onto another one, every
single week - by week,

she making em pay for my supposed sins,
breaking hearts, sifting through all of them,
my condolences to all my replacements,
cause youre never gonna top the original,
i kinda feel like a smooth criminal,
firestarter, cause my absence got her
making more than friends,
and then burning the bridge just like a pyro

i wont hear anything from her now,
only whispers behind my back
kinda funny, i know you got issues -
with me, but youll stay
in the shadows and attack
my reputation, and now
she got everyone hating, but
screw it, if its like that, you trusting a pyro
your feelings, ion care, ill pass

ill be okay and all good,
cause ive never had someone always be there
in my corner until the end
while im fighting my fears -
so why would i need it now
Gods my only out, out here in the cold now
but im used to it, cause my heart the same
all the way throughout, boutta cave, cave, cave, cave

aint gonna fill the void with a bottle,
or a vape, or a cig, or a model, nah
not like the culture today,
aint like the rest of the world and culture
i wont sit in my sorrow
ima just change it up a tad,
personality poised, wont be made mad,
past, over and done,
ion want or have any time to be sad

stone faced, gotta mask up,
emotions hide em slick, like my hair back,
pushin 90, steppin down the gas,
used to wanna take polaroids,
a blast from the past,
take a guess how long that last,
thought id be lost, nah im finding myself
my hats off to you having no clue,
so far away from me,
baby, youre blind from the truth

she thought i was just,
okay and all good,
from having to lose our affinity,
she didnt realize she cut out a piece of me,
the piece that maybe knew love or some lovely things

but ion need that, she was right
im okay, im all good, all cured
from my lovesickness,
i was so ignant in the past,
now im livin my wishlist -
living in the midst, of my best days,
if i fall from grace, itll be real slow
like the mist from a jet just goes to show,
know whos in the cockpit, the one in control, yeah

im just the attendant He chose for this story,
at times blaze of glory, others the mist,
i cant see, real horror, He,
pullin on those transparent strings,
if i go to check the
chapters of my life,
of brother and substances,
my back will start to break,
demons gonna take my soul away
ima get nervous, for real, please dont say -
anything bout it, im exhausted, tryna escape,
take a car to a maybe safe place,
then i realize gotta gun, one bullet, you and i
shot you outta my life, opposite self sacrifice,
opposite self sacrifice,
sacrifice, oh

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer