That I've Noticed

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Chnam

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You're way too sweet
You bring comfort to me
My picture perfect girl
I need you in my world
(This song's about)
(Just some things I've been thinking about for the past like, few years or so)
(Like my life, adulthood and just, pretty much everything else)
Yeah, as I sit down by this mic, reflecting on the year
I kept most issues to myself and shed a few good tears
Done heard a lot of voices in my head, though I'm not schizo
Well, I don't think so
But nonetheless you get my memo
Picked up a smoking habit earlier
I don't why I started
Guess the vape don't hit the same no more
The buzz from it departed
Such a waste of money, though it does the job in blocking out the noise
Inside and what's around me, every purchase is a conscious choice
Not to mention alcohol, I showcased drunkard tendencies
I sipped way more than usual this year and my parents, they wouldn't be pleased
I once bought tonic wine straight after work, the f*ck is wrong with me?
Sometimes I lack self-discipline, that's my addictive personality
I'll never be like - though, he's off the drink like every day
He used to my role model but now, I don't know what to say
Won't go into detail, but before, man used to be a star
Depression's got the best of him, now he spends his days inside a bar
F*ck, it breaks my heart to know that he's a loser
Though I can understand why that man's a substance abuser
The pain of life can be too much and I too thought 'bout crashing out
But generational curses are nothing for me to play about, with
Damned if I do or don't, but I still want revenge
My grudges age the same honey, no expiry nor and an end
I still need get back for some shit, that happened several years ago
And I'll never let it go, f*ck the peace, I'll hate you until I'm old
But with that said, I understand that I need therapy
It's almost been a decade since a session, last was 17
Now I'm 25, yeah, I'm still young but there's so much to heal
'Cause waking up resentful and bitter's toxic, imma be so real
A common theme within my music's shit that fucking broke my heart
If I knew better ways of getting go of shit, I wouldn't start
Plus it doesn't help that I feel pussy when I wanna cry
But who else is to blame besides myself and my own male pride? Right?
*Sighs* F*ck it though, we move
My hurt can either bring me up or destroy me, which one will I choose?
Should I just say "f*ck it" and let my anger take hold of the wheel?
And be so self-destructive knowing damn well that's not ideal
I'm self aware enough to understand the world's not out to get me
Though sometimes, it's hard to stay on track when you just wanna be free
Everyone's got issues too, so what's the point in moving mad?
Despite my own depression, I've learnt lessons that it's not that bad
Like growing up, I thought my life was mid until I heard much worse
Some horror stories so traumatic, you would think that they were cursed
Sexually abused, homeless or poor, no need to add more
Makes you appreciate your life more when you hear someone's lore
That being the case, it's fair to say I'm not the only one
Most of us thug it out, nobody cares if the shit isn't fun
Dissociating from the stress by chasing pleasures every day
Whether it'd be some music or a drug which you decide to take
Either way, one thing in common that we all share is this
This life shit can be confusing and sometimes, it's a bitch
No one's got it figured out regardless if you're broke or rich
We don't have a clue what's next, if you do, then you're talking shit
Life is crazy, shit's unfair and makes no sense and that shit's bogus
We hold back so many tears 'cause we don't wanna lose our focus
On a show that must go on even if our peak's at its closet
No one's here to save you or me and that's the one thing that I've noticed
(Yeah) that's the one thing that I've noticed (this life's hard sometimes man)
And that's the one thing that I've noticed
That's the one thing that I've noticed
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh

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