First Steps

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Clive Haunt

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When it's my time to go
Lead the way out, I'll find another way in from a changed route
When this autumn rain rinses the pain out
I will stomach the sudden syringe in my veins now
Hold me like cards to your chest
And show me your arms are outstretched
If only I can rest my bones then I can get back home
Where the journey ends
When the curtains close
Will the gates open? Will my faith change? Will I make atonement
Riding the waves of an abiding avocation I've made my own
I'm my own opponent but the rhythm it consoles me
When my cynicism throws me
For a loop on this bed of regrets
My medicine chests and cabinets were filled to the brim with my loneliness
It's just the way it goes
When you're too anxious just to say hello
He thinks too much and such people are dangerous
Well, tell Julius I usually am a little angsty but
I'm only angry just at myself
And that'll only be hazardous to my health
'Cause all I've been is the catalyst for my hell
Analysis paralysis, a battle within the self
I was saddled without a paddle
Up the creek against my shadow
Mano a mano and I'm out of ammo until I tattle on myself
That'll calm and quell this addled mind
And unravel fears from a child to an adult
Mind over matter, what matters most is scattered
Across the landscapes inside us
Bring it to the light and magnify the
Unstable parts of you and one day you'll
Have moved and untangled the rope
You can learn to cope and feel like you've made it
But the traces of change won't treat you like a stranger
When the clock is dropped off and not retrieved
Plant a thought, just drop one seed
'Cause when you travel in silent unspeakable memories, still thoughts run deep

I don't want to let go
I don't want to let go
I don't want to let go
Not yet

I don't want to let go
I don't want to let go
But I gotta let go
First Steps

Finding myself lost, entering an exit
Finally signing off, attempting to get this
Head trip to stop, rendering me restless
Relentlessly trying to find the strength to move on
Hate to admit it, but wait a minute
I got to get up out of here to get a greater vision
And I'm shifting the gears I've driven in for years
And killing my fears to look at the man in the mirror
And appear clear, we're here at the ending of a segment
Not thinking of a heaven or a hell for a minute
Staring at the ticking of a clock, sinking
Into my thoughts 'cause I'm scared of living
Given the fact that I want to backtrack
To the past but I can't so I have to adapt
To a land that forces me to switch dreams mid-stream
Scouring around for get rich quick schemes
Stayed awake and played late 'til daybreak
Now I've got to break away and change lanes
And vacate the area, take aim and bury the
Same ways that carried me down this old road
Holding this moment, as long as I can
Until it's gone and I've got to move on and plan
Used to have the time, now it's hard to find
Leaning my shoulders on the world, now the world's on mine
Time flies by, get your seatbelt fastened
And watch the leaves fall as the season passes
'Cause now I've been summoned and I'm becoming the tree
To call off the leaves to fall off of me
Offset the synthesis with simple principals
Bloom from the cocoon in life's chrysalis
I don't want to withdraw all I deposit
Running on stop signs, exercising caution
Chased a dream and tied my shoes
Learned to face defeat cause I might lose
When everything was new and unused
Now it's a bike to a car, kite to a star
Memories juxtaposed with colours of change
Played too many games now I'm stuck in the maze
Stay or escape, it's one and the same
No matter what, coming of age means running away

I don't want to let go
I don't want to let go
I don't want to let go
Not yet

I don't want to let go
I don't want to let go
But I gotta let go
First Steps

Well now that momentum is on my side
I'm ready to walk
I'll leave my tracks on the globe
Like footprints in the snow
Now my cold feet are warm

I don't want to let go
I don't want to let go
I don't want to let go
Not yet

I don't want to let go
I don't want to let go
But I gotta let go
First Steps

I don't want to let go
I don't want to let go
I don't want to let go
Not yet

But I'm ready to go
I am ready to go
I am ready to go
First Steps

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