Ex Boyfriend
Lil Dicky
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Hey, what's goin' on man? It's your boy Lil Dicky Aka Mr. Leftward-Sloping Penis I got a story for y'all, man Peep this Yes sir, aight, let's go Now I been datin' this girl named Katie, she hot as hell (ok) And her body crazy, vagina shaven and it dont smell And I don't fall for chickens But this one a little different, body sickening Plus, she really good at makin' breaded chicken Got me thinkin' she the one, man (hey) Even fully clothed, shawty really fun man (yeah) Get a lotta hoes, but none of those come close I swear this the most that I've felt so damn exposed Oh yeah there's one more thing And I know this shit gonna sound insane But I still haven't hit it I admit it, I wish I was kidding Never been up inside before Because she's only fucked one guy before And though I really wanna boink this whore She my sweetie three point one four So I'm stayin' patient and masturbatin' And now my heart is sorta racin' 'Cause she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicatin' (let's go) Hell yeah, I'm down, I'm 'bout to go all out (I will) I'm gonna pound that crazy, like an elaborate black man handshake But on the way to the crib, we pass this kid And he seem to know who Katie is So I say, "who this?" and she say "Dicky, this is my ex-boyfriend Jim" And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type But as I'm lookin' at this dude, I can't believe my eyes 'Cause he's the best lookin' guy that I've seen in my whole life He's got the thickest head of hair, chiseled jaw, an egregious bod Man, this the closest thing I've seen to a Grecian god And now I'm lookin at my chick, 'cause his dick's been inside her raw (f*ck that) Aw, damn Man this is crazy I can't believe this guy used to f*ck my lady I bet he left that pussy ravaged like Haiti Katie's huggin' and squeezin' his shoulder blades And I'm buggin' and queasy, this ain't ok And then they say, "let's get drinks" so I say, "ok" Even though I was about to get laid Man this motherfucker look like Ashton (damn) Combined with a lil' Hugh Jackman (man) In other words, he's so damn attractive So damn tan, he gotta have a little black in him Now I'm in the back with him, sippin' on some 'gnac with him And he payin' for it all, he investment bankin' I'm actin' like I ain't distracted But I'm reenacting him and Katie bangin' And now I'm feelin' pissed, so I go and take a piss Midstream, I look left and guess who it is And I had to see, and I was mad discreet And I got on my tippy toes and I took a little peek Oh my god Becky, look at that cock And I ain't usually the one to be the jealous type But as I'm lookin at his dick, I can't believe me eyes Because he's got the biggest cock that I've seen in my whole life And now I'm starin' at this dude's soft dick with a lot of hate Because the shit is Plus 8 like Jon and Kate And I don't know if I can date my girl after tonight Aw, damn I don't know what to do, dude's dick is really huge I didn't realize a penis could be so smooth I know she's missin' that, my penis isn't that I'm lookin' closer I think that his dick has abs Six pack on a dick, now what the f*ck is that? It's so long and thick, it's like a punching bag I'm sayin' it's so shaven, head is amazin' Got my dick lookin' like a raisin (wow) Skin tone insane, man he's hung like Saddam Hussein, it's crazy What the f*ck should I do? (no) He gotta a Ruth's Chris dick, and mine's a drive-through (no) I think it's time to tell Katie my goodbyes 'Cause I simply can't survive After seein' what was in between his thighs So I tell her that This dude's got a dick that I don't comprehend I had to move my neck to see it end to end I mean the physics of his dick just don't make any sense And I think it's for the best if this comes to an end Because the sex with him must have been the best And I would say let's just be friends But I think I would just think about his dick all the time, so goodbye Then she told me, "Dicky, I don't really know what to say Because I dated this dude in the second grade So I don't know about his dick, now let's go home and get you laid" And then I took her to my crib, and you know that we belly slapped And I gave her an O like I was sellin' crack And when I came, I pulled out and nutted all over her left thigh And upper mid-section region, you can call that the pelvis Some would even call that the pubic bone Leave the pubes at home, makin' this up on the spot F*ck you know about it? I'm about to go paper mache my own dick and ride it Aw, f*ck, I think I just actually said I was about to Make a paper mache version of my own dick and ride it Yeah, I could understand how that, that can sound gay But, like, you gotta realize that I was just free-stylin' So like I wasn't really in control of what I was sayin' And, I mean, 'cause it ain't me, I, I, real rap I am about to paper mache my dick I won't even lie about that I got, you know, the ingredients is right in front of me like laid out Like, no bullshit, newspaper, I don't even know what the f*ck you would call that shit, putty I guess It's about to get real sexual up in here, huh But I am not gon' ride it, that, that ain't me I mean that's how I free, it came off the, the, the brain Yeah, you know, if I, if I was thinin' that then it is what it is but I, I, I ain't gon' act on it Heh, you know what I'm sayin', I ain't gonna act on that shit But I am about to put that shit on the wall, though The, uh, the paper mache, cast mold of my dick, so, there's that Alright holla at me
Become A Better Singer In Only 30 Days, With Easy Video Lessons!
Written by: David Burd
Lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
Lyrics Licensed & Provided by LyricFind
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"Ex Boyfriend Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 11 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/1411767/Lil+Dicky/Ex+Boyfriend>.
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