Twenty

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Bessiah!

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Really
All I do is work and smoke and play beats inside my crib all day
If I had it downloaded that's probably what my tinder say
But I don't have the energy or effort to be on display
I can't look at things the same
I used to wear my heart up on sleeve now it's tucked under my breast
Are you still running round these streets, does it help that you're depressed?
Do you still toss round in your sleep are you still living check to check?
Do I consider she on the list of shit I should regret?
I'm only twenty, but I've lived a whole lifetime since last you've known me
Got different homies, a few are still the same but more than ever I feel lonely
So when I say shawty evil I mean literally
Her actions left me feeble and based off what you was giving me
I went turned into Riku now I'm lost in the lucidity
I'm no longer as see through after all the shit you did to me
Can't even trust my people even though I wish them everything
But hold up lemme talk my shit real quick ya digg
Before you go and think I'm a bitch get off my dick real quick
Yeah that shit it cut me deep but I feel indifferent
I didn't do much crying got off my ass and made a buck real quick
Yeah I made it out of Kent and got a crib
I keep up on my rent but it's a bitch
I be eating everyday so I consider that a win
I be keeping out the way and cause of that I lost some friends
And Ion keep my family close, it shows
They all spread over coast, I'm the youngest they've outgrown me
So have all my homies
So I'm stuck by my only
Don't nobody phone me
Not even remotely
I feel like Tony Tony
That's why it's tatted on me
The solitude consoles me
That's what you had shown me
That Imma always be that kid at heart
It's just me and my Sony
My one and only
But I'm only twenty
And I've lived a whole lifetime since last you've known me
Got different homies, a few are still the same but more than ever I feel lonely
So when I say shawty evil is she really?
Her actions left me feeble and based off what you was giving me
I went turned into Riku now I'm lost in the lucidity
I'm no longer as see through after all the shit you did to me
Can't even trust my people
I try to act like ok cool and now you dead to me
I guess I never told you what it really meant to me
I guess we've closed the door on that so why not let it be
I guess that I still blame you for destroying any chemistry
That I might've kept with me
I met this girl Khensani and she's everything I'll never be
I try to keep her right beside me but between us is your entity
I give her all of mine now suddenly I'm lacking empathy
Cause that lesson of yours still lingers
I shut down if I let them in don't let em see us
I feel bad that she admires me cause she won't get as near
And now I'm the bad guy because I never made it clear
That it's hard to juggle life and my transmission won't shift gears
I didn't realize I was blind to the direction which I steer
I can't tell if I'm telling the truth or just what she wanna hear
Convincing myself with lies and action driven by my fears
But I mean shit, I'm only twenty
And I've lived a whole lifetime since last you've known me
Got different homies, a few are still the same but more than ever I feel lonely
So when I say shawty evil I mean yes
Her actions left me feeble and based off what you was giving me
I went turned into Riku now I'm lost in the lucidity
I'm no longer as see through after all the shit you did to me
I may have lost my innocence in return for humility
I don't look at it maliciously
It's more like ambiguity
You was something new to me
I appreciate your cruelty
I'll continue my usually
Yeah, but
You said my music shit
So I hope you're hearing this
You're forever my abyss
Of memories that don't exist
So c'est la vie, estaré aquí, namaste, not me
These hoes don't mean a thing

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