Save Myself

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Sauce Is Matisse

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I'm praying the darkness all will leave me 
Been waiting to solve it, but I'm knee deep 
So I'm creating this raucous unapologetic 
Art of cacophonous harmonies to keep peace 
Seeking to add it to quiet under my eyelids 
I'm tryna paint a masterpiece in silence 
My canvas and I are vivid and bright unless 
The light's dimming, I'll light a lighter, listen to life 
And let your pain go, let your faith go 
I'm staying on it so my enemies remain close 
I'm staying honest, soulful remedy, I'll lay low 
But I've been conscious of my conscience, center stage though 
You've seen my face, no fear of fate 
Any mirrors stained, irritating, I'ma stare away 
What I'm here to say? It's clear as day 
I won't ever break, and if hell's to pay, I'll get carried away 

I can't obey the bottom, I've forgotten what I wanted 
I'm sorry, apology's not in the contract 
I thought I'd be a walking nobody, but I'm a mockery talking 
And honest to God, I don't want that 
So I'll save myself, I'll save myself 
And you can save yourself too 
I'll save myself, I'll save myself 
And if you don't, then to hell with you 

Y'all, I been acting real odd, and in fact I feel off 
Unimpassioned zeal, opposite of facts, I feel false 
I'm on a path surreal, lost, unimaginable 
Even though I keep it Sauced, I'm Matt and Matisse, draw 
I'm wishing half these feels 
Woulda given me anything inching past this will 
With the passion I'm mental, thinking I'm batshit, still 
It's a fact that I'm living riddled with Catholic guilt 
And it's hard for me, but it's part of me 
Couldn't have fashioned the artist's art if it was apart from me 
Couldn't imagine the honest heart's admission of hardened grief
If all I did was waltz in beaming, golly gee I've been awful mean 
But I'm about breadth, I'll take a loud breath 
This is my outlet, listen in to my sound sets 
I've been around wrecking hours underground 
Dissing doubters, pissed, empowered, lip devours any sound sense 

Dare I escape my hell? 
Cherish the pain I've felt? 
See I was raised so well 
But there's something inside of me yelling "save myself!"

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