Aquarius

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Jordan Caesar

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Wake of destruction
I stand naked in public
Exposing all of my secrets
While inviting my demons
To come and drown me in substance
So I'm unconscious to f*ck shit
Unaccustomed to customs, plus I'm so awkward at functions
I here you telling me something, but my mind's in a gutter
Ever since you left, I've noticed that I'm blind to the color
All I see is black, I only see light when I utter
Your name, covers me from the constant attack that I'm under
When shit hits the fan
I'm the one who must suffer
Taking bullets for bitches who leave me out in the thunder
And the pain that I'm in
I know I'll never recover
Got my back to the wall and I can see I'm outnumbered
With everybody against me and predicting
That my life could just somehow go back to normal
Like she didn't leave my empty, like she didn't leave me trembling
At the thought of her missing from my life
Don't try to tell me that I can make it right
Because I know for a fact that she's the one my heart is calling
But she hung up, now I'm strung up and it feels like I am falling
Terrified to be a man because my father never taught me
Now I don't know how to deal with all this pain that has been clogging
Every one of my thoughts lately
I'm pacing, my heart is racing
I'm falling behind and always had a fear she would replace me
With someone better than me, 'cause Lord knows I'm not good enough
When better is possible, sometimes good is just not enough
Tried to wait
For the day
I wouldn't have to feel this hurt
But it got worse
Never been so afraid
For shit to change
So when did this fear emerge?
I'm killing girls
Who always tried throwing shade
And playing games
F*ck around and burn the Earth
And burn this world
If that means you'd find your way
Find your way
Back to me inside this church
Inside this church
Tell you I got somethin'
Somethin' I got somethin' I got somethin' for these mothafuckas
Load the chopper up and let it sing all through this mothafucka
Look to your neighbor and say, "Neighbor, he ain't playing, is he?"
Look to your neighbor and start praying he don't come and get me
On God, I'm going Dylan Roof if I don't see my baby
It's been a month, it feels like years, I swear I'm going crazy
Don't try to tell me I need prayer because that shit don't phase me
If anything, I'll ask the Lord why he ain't come and save me
He could've warned me, or even showed me
Like, a vision or a dream like how he did with Jacob
But, instead he gets his laughs off of tragic breakups
And watching me go through these trials and these tribulations
As if my downfalls are arranged for your entertainment
I swear I'll bite my fingers off if I can't fill the spaces
Between them with yours
Without you, I don't have as much meaning
You took my break away, so without you, there's no point of me breathing
I'll put a bullet in my brain, you've given more than a reason
I pray you wake up from your sleep at the sound of me screaming

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