Feelings
Joanna Perricone
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I couldn't tell my mother, I couldn't tell my brothers Just knew that I was different, different from all the others That's what I told myself, 'cause no one would understand that I had these feelings, all these feelings no I surely can't See, I was 5 but I was crushing on the babysitter I was just a baby scheming ways so I could sit with her I remember crying just so she would turn and hold me Like did she really fall for that? Oh never-mind, go me! Elementary school I flew under the radar Singing songs and finger painting while developing my gaydar Onto middle school cool and my friend's looking attractive I approached it like a novice teasing them and being nasty Even got a boyfriend to cover up the dirty truth What the hell you want from me, the fucked up things we do in youth Couldn't hold it in no more, I finally had to let it out I was 12, what the hell, might as well come crawling out I wouldn't trade these feelings for the moon and the stars Almost scot-free I could show you the scars Used to yell at God and ask him, "Why the hell me" Now I talk to God and feel totally at ease I wouldn't trade these feelings for the moon and the stars Almost scot-free I could show you the scars Used to yell at God and ask him, "Why the hell me" Now I talk to God and feel totally at ease Tried to come out at a very young age, but I was met with resistance And I hoped in that moment that I would feel relieved, but not quite in that instance See, 'cause the girl that I liked was a tad bit religious, just a tad bit religious But she was my friend and when it all came out, she was like, "Lose my digits" Damn, used to hang out with the popular kids but overnight I was labeled a freak This is seventh grade, I'm impressionable and my God how the gossip leaked I was lowest on the totem pole, call it social suicide Keep my feelings to myself, then go home and cry and cry All the while terrified, terrified This is who I feel inside, f*ck these people never-mind I know nothing's wrong with me, I am normal But I retract from being out, I'm done with all these quarrels Level of maturity I guess my peers have yet to reach And that summer move to Florida surely helped me feel relief The only thing I set to do was try my best to blend in And all these crushes still prevailed, my prepubescent head spinning Britney Spears, Katie Holmes, Ginger Spice I lusted for Stocking up on fantasies like bottles in a liquor store I wouldn't trade these feelings for the moon and the stars Almost scot-free I could show you the scars Used to yell at God and ask him, "Why the hell me" Now I talk to God and feel totally at ease I wouldn't trade these feelings for the moon and the stars Almost scot-free I could show you the scars Used to yell at God and ask him, "Why the hell me" Now I talk to God and feel totally at ease And the second time of coming out went much, much better I was 15, part time getting cheddar Bagging all these groceries for Kristen I think She was 19, open minded and sweet Probably more astute than anybody had been And I got the green light, win win win My oh my how the tables have turned And if you're struggling with this, I hope you get what I've learned that The inner voice inside of you is never wrong Might face resistance from your friends, your peers or even Mom But screw em', you know who you are, you know who you are And who you are is so damn perfect Never let another human being tell you different Never let another human make you feel worthless June 26th, June 26th I lost my shit on June 26th June 26th, June 26th Think they finally get it, human rights in this bitch And I know that's not lady-like such foul language I guess I feel it justifies for all my bitter anguish How you say in Spanish, "Sobreviví y ahora" Visions of a home life, children and my own Señora I couldn't tell my mother, I couldn't tell my brothers Just knew that I was different, different from all the others I wouldn't trade these feelings for the moon and the stars Almost scot-free I could show you the scars Used to yell at God and ask him, "Why the hell me" Now I talk to God and feel totally at ease I wouldn't trade these feelings for the moon and the stars Almost scot-free I could show you the scars Used to yell at God and ask him, "Why the hell me" Now I talk to God and feel totally at ease
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"Feelings Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 28 Apr. 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/1669050/Joanna+Perricone/Feelings>.
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