Trepidation

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Spike the Media

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In the depths of this place there is found a room 
Four walls a ceiling a bed and two imposing windows 
There I lay in the bed the twilight a shroud 
The only thoughts I have are bleak 

In the mist the only colors are figments brought on by tiredness
Little pictures and scenes composed of tiny specks of false light
Are etched within the constructs of my mind
These pose but a small distraction
From the visitors 

The visitors who turn all the specks to white and who make all time meaningless
I know they encompass me but suppression leads to a feeling of impending doom 
Like someone is lurking in the shroud waiting to go in for the kill 
Nervousness becomes fear 
Fear becomes anxiety 
And anxiety becomes panic 
Entering through the esophagus
Tunneling down into the stomach
Strength of acid determines life span 
It travels the length of the intestines
And is excreted along with the other rubbish thoughts conjured by the broken mind 

Open my skull 
And connect the dots my wires jumbled up in assorted knots
There is something deep inside
These neurons where the evil lies
It drops me to my knees 
Can't see the forest for the tree's 

Where is acceptance the thing that I need (the thing that I seek) 
Pressing danger and primal fear erases my creed 

A body against a mind 
A mind against itself 
Internal conflict roars 
Can I be helped

All space and time in tiny dots of faded color laid out before my eyes 
They cannot see it but they try oh they try
And it rips my brain to shreds 
Knowing that there's something that it cannot grasp

Take away take away take away these chains that keep me in the light of day 
Nowhere to run nowhere to hide how long until the pain subsides
It won't subside I know it can't 
To it I know I'm just an ant 
Irrelevant no use at all it only wants to watch me fall 

Where is acceptance the thing that I need (the thing that I seek)
Pressing danger and primal fear 

A body against a mind 
A mind against itself 
Internal conflict roars 
Can I be helped
Inevitable results
It will never cease 
Trapped inside time i'm waiting for release

Release does come yes 
But at what is only a moment's reprieve 
In the grand scheme of things that is 
For i know that the visitors will return 
Maybe not in the morning maybe not even for a week 
But they will return 
and since acceptance is the only escape 
I just lie and try to fall asleep

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