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Nick Trees

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Why do we suffer? 
No answers, nothing 
Just a mystery, suffer in misery, almost like you enjoy watching the pain
Why am I blaming you? 
Maybe I made the choice to be here before I was born  
Why would I ever make that choice? 
What the f*ck is my problem?
I can't believe this shit every day is harder than the next 
I love these damn people I meet but why would you take them away? 
I'm fuckin blown away by the fact I'm supposed to believe what was written in a book 
Probably by the same crooks I see on Wall Street
Say hello to the brightest spirits and then it fades away
I heard their voice one day and now I can't hear it
Yet I'm supposed to be grateful, it makes me hateful
When I know I'm blessed but certain things I just can't get off my chest
Having the worst dreams every single night running from failure
Wake up in the morning realizing I might be right there 
But I never see results, feel a weakening pulse 
Giving up barely able to keep on moving
I mean, what for? 
Why keep on going you feel like you're worth shit?
Hopeless, going a route s earching for some bullshit dreams that no one else sees
Or maybe they do and everything you believe has been bullshit the whole time
To top it off get a phone call someone dies, it wasn't suicide but I feel the tears in my eyes
I can't contain the pain
I'm stuck at work having to hold my composure 
Now I have to fly across the states just to bury the remains 
This shit feels like every day the more I'm alive the more I'll see 
I'm already pissed off that in the summer it's a 100 plus degrees 
My heart bleeds for the ones I love, I miss their hugs 
Even though the hugs are warm
The swarm of life struggles inflict my strict discipline perspective that rejects any compassion 
Because if I let in anything good I think it'll always turn bad 
And god knows I don't wanna be hurt anymore 
I cry at night praying for a better life for my family and friends
Hoping that they live in peace and hoping it never ends
But as for me I'd rather sacrifice myself for them seeing as I have no hope for being happy
But why do I tell myself that?
Sadness overrun when it's gone it doesn't feel right 
If I feel happiness I get scared because I don't believe it's true
So what am I supposed to do?
All I got is faith

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