Ace

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Muhaned

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I don't want you to ask me about this again
How do you think i feel?

At age 15 i knew i had the talents 
I was homeless then thats something I couldn't balance
To be Frank I cried Oceans every night seemed Endless
My eyes flooded tears, sleepless nights on different benches
Feeling the cold breeze rip through his shirt
Suicidal thoughts while his hunger emerged 
And lord be merciful why am I such a curse?
I seem to complain when you don't have time to converse
Wonder why you gave me the wrong tokens to roll the dice 
Cause he know better than to gamble with his life
15 Years old hoping to make 21
Youngin' you can't deal if you don't play your cards right
Woke next to a heroin addict who fed me off of her plate
I watched her feed her habit, zone out to a different state 
She told me she was a gambling addict her name was Faith 
I mentioned I was an orphan she started calling me ACE
He thought least somebody by my side 
This cruel world made both paths collide
It took him by surprise, she don't see the damage 
Soon as her medicine kick in everything else vanished 
Seeing the pile of needles that disowned her body 
Kicking through her veins now everything seems foggy 
I held her in my arms while she escapes her reality 
How two complete strangers became a family

And lord be merciful why am I such a curse?
I seem to complain when you don't have time to converse
Numb to the pain your reply is filled with silence 
Misled i need your guidance 

Little Acey grew up through the foster care system 
Knowing suicidal thoughts will have nobody miss him
He complains on his anxiety, nobody seems to listen 
Feeling lonely and abandoned, something felt missing 
Nobody taking his side, he's the troubled youth 
Saying he's full of anger knowing it isn't true 
He only causes scenes to gain attention 
That's his way of knowing if anyone showed affection
Roaming through the school halls feeling invincible 
They worry about his grades, he's worried about the unthinkable 
As his teachers break down his need to succeed 
The hunger clenches his stomach concerned if he could eat 
No one could fill his shoes when he don't own none
Why waste the time and effort when you could easily disown him
To him that's something all too familiar 
His daddy gave him up so he's left with no familia
You resemble your mother so much, the reason i mistreat you 
The same way i abandoned her  you no different I don't need you 
Only a matter of time till you crawl back to me 
Your word against mine tell me who gon believe you
Fighting his inner demons through the damage 
Wondering "What do it take for these thoughts to vanish?"
Those same demons helped him lift the pistol 
Russian Roulette; load, point and shoot 
Its that simple

And lord be merciful why am I such a curse?
I seem to complain when you don't have time to converse
Numb to the pain your reply is filled with silence 
Misled i need your guidance

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