Deterioration

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Eat Every Pill

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It wasn't an easy thing to think you loved him 
When you were cutting his food 
And you were wiping his chin
To be a mother to your husband
You must have built up so much resentment
I can only imagine
Was it a relief? 
Driving halfway across the country with your son asleep in the backseat
Now your only responsibility
Did you feel like a smuggler? 
I remember feeling like a stowaway
To a man who can't hold his son in his arms 
Or run his fingers through his wife's hair
I wonder what else is there? 
Life feels like limping to the box you'll be buried in
Life feels like deterioration
He didn't know, though
How his leaving would leave us lost and drifting for ten years
To feel an absence more keenly than a knife in the sheets
Than a bruise turning yellow on your cheek
Than a pipe between your loosened teeth
Then your only reason for waking up
Did you feel like a prisoner? 
I remember our house as one dimly-lit cell
We needed to learn how to love again

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