Pain

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Kevin Varghese

4:30

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Rolling, smoking
Laughing, joking
I can't focus, happy hoping
Can't stop coughing, might be broken
I can't open the ibuprofen
Bathroom coke with the backdoor open
Pack dope and a book by Tolkien
Rescue folks with a restroom joke and my rhymes so fresh like a test tube broke
I'm an experimental MC coping with the fact that I can't be trusted
Not a coke-head, not a cool kid, not a fool, but I can be bested
Investing time into lines on a page, because my mind's so restless
I tested myself with an eye to the frame, talking Shrooms for breakfast
Drink acid, think passive aggressive, I take two hits, then pass it
So classic, sip from a glass, then a flask, then I flash out out the back as practice
They told me keep myself in a lane, but I can't have it
Pinpointing thoughts on a map of the brain, my lyrics show my madness
Inner sadness, my vigor vanished, I think I'm banished from home
I gotta vanquish any demons creeping, but then I'm back on my own
I swear there's no such thing as a remedy, except for the moments in a melody
Melatonin and melanin mellow me
They don't know better but everybody's telling me

I know what you need
I know how you feel
Just let it go right now, come on let's smoke right now

Hold up
I gotta get it done, before I set upon another journey now
I keep my head up strong
It is never wrong when you get fed up from their lack of faith
I drop it like megaton
I'm afraid that I'm much too proud, talk too much, they don't trust me now
I'm like "Kev, please shut your mouth, because I'm trying to bloom like a mushroom cloud!"
I got the benefit now, but the doubt I'll be better without, a wild crowd is my medicine
How'd I get elegant eloquence that amounts to a hell of a crown?
Pound for pound, the sound profound, and it all surrounds me
Still young so it all scares me
And I am not at all prepared and I am often wary of how far I fell from the monastery

I know what you need
I know how you feel
Just let it go right now, come on let's smoke right now

Rolling, smoking, laughing, joking, coughing, choking, crying, coping
Losing focus, back and forth and back again, but I ain't notice
Not okay, see I'm just moping, hoping, stoked and trying to get attention
What I need is a minor intervention, writing what I mention, that is my invention
Chilling on the seesaw, black hat hacker like "Yeehaw!"
See me horsing around like "Weesnaw!"
When meemaw and peepaw had the green card
Thinking about "What could you be, how would you act if they weren't looking
Who are you really, what is your ceiling, what are you feeling, and how can we feel it?"

I know what you need
I know how you feel
Just let it go right now, come on and smoke right now

Stepped away for a second just to breathe
But I know there ain't nothing but the noise in my brain
I got a dream so clear, I should scream at these folks
But it's nothing but the noise in my brain, can't complain

Come on, let's smoke

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