(We Are The) Donut Slayers

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Sam Mulligan

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Traveling the lands far and wide
The arctic North
The hot hot South
In search of circular pastries
To murder with my mouth
Oh yes I've taken lives
Armed with naught but teeth and hands
When donuts see me coming
They pee their donut pants

We are the donut slayers
Venture into our lair
You will shudder when you discover
One thousand souls of donut holes
We are the donut slayers
We catch the scent in the air
Seconds pass, you will not find
A single crumb left behind

Boston cream, lemon-filled, honey-dipped glaze
No donut is safe from my murderous gaze
The ones I see are all for me
And they'll have surely seen better days
Straight into my gaping maw
Never to be seen again
By way of monstrous jaws
All shall meet a violent end

We are the donut slayers
Venture into our lair
You will shudder when you discover
One thousand souls of donut holes
We are the donut slayers
We catch the scent in the air
Seconds pass, you will not find
A single crumb left behind

I don't care if it's raised or cake
I'll skip it's funeral and forget the wake
Honor thy life
Cherish thy death
Make haste
Lay waste to
Dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens

Eviscerating
Masticating
Time is wasting
No time for tasting
I take a dozen and I cram them down my gullet
'Cause you know I'm all business like the front of a mullet
Jelly stains are all that remains
Jelly stains are all that remains

We are the donut slayers
Venture into our lair
You will shudder when you discover
One thousand souls of donut holes
We are the donut slayers
We catch the scent in the air
Seconds pass, you will not find
A single crumb left behind

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