Change and Face It

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Jason E.C. Wright

2:06

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Never thought
That I'd return to this format
From treating tarmac's like a doormat
And caffe's as floormats
My heart's where the auxiliary cord's at 
And home is whatever space the wifi 
Reconnects + restores at 

It used to be just scribble/record that
But different now
It's funny how the distance can add to clarity vision, now
I've always seen better from distance
But the instance of being far removed from my instincts' been meticulous

I've had my breakdowns + my meltdowns
From building people up to even letting myself down 
A self crowned ruler in the valley of dark night of the soul 
Ground mountains that I made out of molehills into coal
Pound pressure from the crisis of existential refinement 
To diamonds 
To prisms for laser cutting designing 
My life in an image divine within its timing 
Just so I could get back to rhyming, 
At a time when

Words purged certainly cut cords of complacency
When mirror doppelgängers of past doubt we're replacing me
And getting self closer to dreams stiff arm + spacing me 
Its fourth down + inches, I'm inching to get adjacent

See the goal post move 
As the wind blows
It isn't set 
All it clearly means 
This level I haven't finished yet
I could get a check 
Or go check myself in a clinic 
Or get serious + surgical 
Just like at the beginning 

Where the winning wasn't focused
The focus was on the form
When the form wasn't formula
Just a formula for
A way to hide from the Hyde of my higher being
Informed by fear of being heckled, the Jekyll projected forth

Through the names that I conjured + forced into the consciousness 
Powered by obnoxiousness, gravity, + accomplishments
All the skill I carried in spades, afraid to acknowledge it
I chose to hideaway, not to honour it
And honest, it 

Just got too tiring not to just, be
Since I've always Been, everything 
That I've tried to be, might as well see
Stepping back to basics
Stepping into my truth
Led to stepping out like Lincoln
Assassination in booth

Like a penny with hole in it
I'm holding it
Hopeless
Just give me a whole minute

Or maybe not...
Or maybe not

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