Bravery in My Bravado

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DirtyWhite

3:13

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I don't mean no disrespect by this
But everything's not what it used to be, ya know?
And I feel like it's really important
For us to make the future what WE want it to be
You know what I mean?
That's all it's really been about

Yeah
I would say that I wanna make my mama proud
Cuz that's the typa shit that rappers like to talk about
And please don't take it like I'm dissin' on my mama now
But it's a reason why I left up out my mama house
And my intent here is not to just be rappin' foul
But to make you understand all of my fuckin' actions now
Cuz everything that I dreamed from the age of 13
Was in direct defiance of everything she was plannin' out
She wanted me to be a pastor or a deacon, see
I could serve the people in the name of a certain deity
But the inner me was screamin' in silence
Hypocrisy, and violence, and every time
I passed the plate it felt like thievery
And I can still feel the residuals of belief in me
Every time she calls me up and tells me she believes in me
But what I think she really mean is that she fear for me
And hopes my morals won't suffer from entropy, but see

I found Bravery in my Bravado
I found today in tomorrow
I couldn't beg steal or borrow
To find a place in this world
I found Bravery in my Bravado
I found today in tomorrow
I couldn't beg steal or borrow
To find a place in this world

Yeah
My mama taught me to eat my veggies
But now I smoke em
She taught me to rise early and read my devotions
But now the only thing I read is these comments on my feed
That' s full of real ignorance and fake emotion
Damn
And I still feel like I'm only going through the motions
And I love my mama, man, go ahead and quote it
But would I really be less twisted and still remain gifted
If the rifts in my history were no longer in focus?
Damn, that shit's a bitter pill in any dosage
The feeling unappreciated and hopeless
So regardless of my status or any successes granted
I still find myself chasing my magnum opus
I'm young, but I'm lookin' back like I'm reminiscing
I wanna change destructive patterns and demand division
Between me and the habits I've managed to create
But admitting to a mistake isn't the same thing
As asking for forgiveness
So when I say that I wanna make my mama proud
I'm not tryna' say I'm limiting my options now
But I could never fill the shoes that she prayed for me
Even though I treasure those kicks so faithfully
I just wanted her to understand my bravery
I'm tryna' be the shining light that they never gave to me
Even if that requires me attempting to deny
Every single inch of identity that was ever fated me

I found Bravery in my Bravado
I found today in tomorrow
I couldn't beg steal or borrow
To find a place in this world
I found Bravery in my Bravado
I found today in tomorrow
I couldn't beg steal or borrow
To find a place in this world

I found Bravery in my Bravado
I found today in tomorrow
I couldn't beg steal or borrow
To find a place in this world

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