Save Myself

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The Medic

4:23

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You won't ever know the pain I felt
Lately I been tryna save myself
I think about you way too much
We both know you play too much
And that's real... (Yeah aye) that's real...

You told me you could picture us coasting
I don't really know why the hell you been ghost then
Don't fight the feeling, know you wanna beside me
We been hella distant, feel like you're behind me
We in the same game but you play by different rules (Rules!)
Going up and down, why we gotta pick and choose? (Choose!)
Can't please you, why you always switching moods
Funny how I'm making love songs you won't listen to...
There was a time when you hit me up late nights
Telling me you miss me, trying to uplift me
I don't know why I couldn't help but feel guilty
Pushed you away, hoping someday you'd forgive me
Couldn't realize you were what I pray for
Real talk, you the only one I wait for
Never really know what you have till it's gone
Hits you cause all a sudden it's not yours!
And I know you still bitter 'bout your ex man
And you talk down on him with your best friends
Get your mind right, girl you need less stress
Take a night off, go put on your best dress
I know your last dude got you thinking love is fake
Cuz he played you, that was such a dumb mistake
Didn't know what he was losing, what a shame (Uh)
You and I both, we just tryna numb the pain
I hate that you been drifting away
Used to run to me, everything isn't the same cuz
I got issues, I'm just stuck in my ways
Never good with these emotions
I can't explain (Yeah)
Hit you up the other night just to check up on you
These other dudes don't wanna take the time and get to know you
A while ago both of us really had hope
But things happen and we fell through on a bad note

You won't ever know the pain I felt
Lately I been tryna save myself
I think about you way too much
We both know you play too much
And that's real... (Yeah aye) that's real...

I'm no good at maintaining connections
Push away when I feel the affection (Aye)
For some reason it just all feels foreign to me
Try to blow it off, wishing it was sorta funny
Uh
Man I'm scared to get close
Disappeared for a while wishing I could let go
Uh
Got me reminiscing and I'm fading in and out
Losing direction, boutta take a different route
Said you wanna hold me down and not hold me back
Wish I understood back when you told me that
Now I'm wishing you were picking up the phone again
All these other girls really hella phoney man
Feelings change and people change
That's how it goes
Sad truth but honestly yo that's all I know
I'm just really tryna lose all the memories
Can't happen, they don't really ever leave
You become a huge thing that I think about
Feel it inside, let you eat me alive
Then I'm, Losing my drive and I'm losing my mind
Running from my thoughts but there's nowhere to hide (Uh)
See you moved on so I gotta do the same
Got me wishing that I never even played the game
Kinda hurts cause I'm all on my own again
It's whatever tho, shawty I'mma be alright

You won't ever know the pain I felt
Lately I been tryna save myself
I think about you way too much
We both know you play too much
And that's real (Yeah aye) that's real

Hey uh it's Ahmed
I hit you up the other night didn't get an answer
Uh just tryna check up on you
Ask how things are going
It's been awhile since we last actually talked
I know things haven't been the greatest between us
I'm tryna learn to put my pride aside
And stop pushin away from everybody
You won't believe but I do still care about you
It's like Christmas time right now
And I'm thinking back on when I used to hit you up
And I'd get high and I tell you how I felt
Try to escape all these feelings and emotions
I just couldn't explain (Whatever)
I know you probably got a new man
You must be doing good for yourself (Um)
If you hear this just hit me back if you get the chance
If not it's cool
Hope you and your family are well
Alright

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