You Just Don't Know

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Flesruoy Llik

3:38

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Things haven't changed, still plagued with angst
Still dream of Kurt's mic, and going out with a bang
I'm entrapped, a prisoner of my own brain
These chemical imbalances got me seeing strange things
Life ain't what it used to, be about
Now I wish I could choose to
Regain some happiness or at least chew through
Enough medication, until I puke dude
And if I don't asphyxiate, God damnit
Dosage wasn't high enough to make it happen
Just put me in a coma, some light drug nappin'
And when I wake up it's back to suicidal rappin'
Just know, it could happen at any time
Any of these verses could be my last rhyme
'Cause that's my main goal, reach the end of the line
Hopefully from some dope, at the end of a line

I don't know which way to go
You thought I'd have it figured out by now
But I'm an idiot
And I just keep on bringing myself down
Don't wanna be here anymore
I wanna go home
I always joke about killing myself
But you just don't know

I always inject when you invest
I couldn't ask for more 'cause I've always had less
Please God, I'm begging, just take away my breath
When I use Bobby Brown, for a quick rest
I'm not playin' around, this is not a joke
I really wanna die, I really wanna croak
Finally reached the end of my rope
It all started when I first picked up smokes
You still couldn't know after sittin' through my therapy
Of all these thoughts, and pleads to bury me
Can't get a promotion, even at Dairy Queen
The bitch I asked to marry me? She's scared of me
There's nothing to live for, I ain't got shit
I'm serious this time, when I say I'll quit
If you're not present don't talk me off the cliff
'Cause life is a choice, and death is a gift

I don't know which way to go
You thought I'd have it figured out by now
But I'm an idiot
And I just keep on bringing myself down
Don't wanna be here anymore
I wanna go home
I always joke about killing myself
But you just don't know

I'm afflicted, with an ugly gift
To live in pain all my life and never see it shift
And when somethin' goes wrong it's always my fault
When I have an open wound, I'm pouring in the salt
Like a vault filled, with nothing valuable
Nobody wants me, it's understandable
I can't process my constant losses
The thought of tryin' to smile just makes me nauseous
The cost is, a flatline
Because I'm self-destructive by my own design
I just wanna be happy one time (One time)
I just wanna stop worrying and stop crying
I feel like, these are my last days here
I don't like me, I wanna disappear
I'm bleeding, my life is fleeting
I just can't stand another day alive with no meaning

You just don't know, it gets so real to me
You just don't know, it gets so real to me
You just don't know, it gets so real to me
You just don't know, it gets so real to me

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