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Nate the Boy Scout

3:18

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So tired from all of this I can hardly keep my eyes fixed 
Been working so hard I find comfort feeling restless 
But not a calmness think my mental state is broken
Can't sit still need to do something for that fill
I bounce up and down or is this how I'm supposed to feel
Got medication in me so I'm supposed to be able to deal
With everything turning inside of me so vivid and real
Should probably get some sleep so I can finally heal
So many relationships that have ended poorly
Used to want to fight but lately I've been feeling sorry
Not for myself but the situation at hand
Always wanted to be a member but never a part of the band

Guess I'll fly solo until the day I understand 
That life is more important than a meaning of a brand 
I was the perfect mule a curly headed fool
Just giving hand outs everywhere here's my knowledge pool 
I could have built you an empire for goodness sake 
I was what you wanted and it was all take take take 
But you took it prematurely so greedy and surly 
That you had this one figured out 
No game or no clout 
All I really wanted was a friend in the end 
Who didn't view me as an asset or want me to mend 
To fit their image let the multi persona game begin 
Lied and said it was all fun but you only played to win   
My heart's been torn up by so many people
I've been emotionally dry not feeling with upheaval
To this disturbance around me pushing over my own steeple 
I'll destroy and rebuild, to sanctify my evil 

I used to be so extroverted now I'm introverted and alone 
Funny how it all flipped sides never thought I would grow up to hide in a home
Most people approach me and my stomach turns with angst 
Please don't ask about my past I want to be present and feel some grace 
This giver here is on empty I need to refill
Just take what you want so no need to steal
The real gift I'm offering is the planting of a seed 
But all you want is the money just riddled with greed
Everyone talks to me like I've never seen it before 
Seriously thinking their the first one to try and score with no valor 
The idea of keeping someone around just so you can leach
Off of what they've accomplished living vicariously through me 
Get your own life and stop taking parts from mine
I can act dumber than I look trust me I'm not lying 
I'll play you ten times better in this game than you ever can
Because after all I'm a surviving man

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