Not a Purse

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Hold up
It's not a purse
Not a purse
Not a purse
Absolutely not a purse
Not a purse
Not a purse
Positively not a purse
Not a purse
Not a purse
Can't you see it's not a purse
Not a purse
It's a tactical military shoulder bag

Burberry, Versace
Gabbana and Dolce
Christian Dior, Jean Paul Gauthier
Calvin Klein, Givenchy
Steve McQueen, Yves Saint Laurent
Escada, Paco Rabbane
Prada, Coach, and Chloe
To these brands I say nay
Faded Glory and Hanes (Yeah)
Wrangler, Dickies (Yeah) George, Cherokee (Yeah)
No Boundaries (Oh yeah)
Just My Size (Yeah)
Danskin, White Stagé (Yeah)
Fruit of the Loomé (Yeah)
To these brands I say oh yay (Oh yeah)
Fashion lines from jeans to hoods
That is why I look so good
Only wear the very best
Aeropostale on my chest
I have the most exquisite taste
I take a style and innovate
Don't use the p-word for my case
It's just a strap with an attaché

Not a purse
Not a purse
Not a purse
Absolutely not a purse
Not a purse
Not a purse
Positively not a purse
Not a purse
Not a purse
Can't you see it's not a purse
Not a purse
It's a tactical military shoulder bag

I offer bags in green or gray
Or land and sea camouflage
Don't need a wallet when you have
My tactical military shoulder bag
Pants with pockets, out the door
Cargo pants, you'll need no more
Strips of fabric on your hips
All the while you're pocketless
Everything fits in the bag
Money, makeup, Maxi pads
Mary Poppins in the house
Take your wallet, throw it out
Time for fashion, time for lace
Time for glitter on your face
Not a purse, more like briefcase
For you to brandish mid-sashay

Not a purse
Not a purse
Not a purse
Absolutely not a purse
Not a purse
Not a purse
Positively not a purse
Not a purse
Not a purse
Can't you see it's not a purse
Not a purse
It's a tactical military shoulder bag

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