Alone

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Ever had heart break where your heart aches
And everything crumbles and shakes
And your, whole world shifts plates earthquakes and puts you in a state you can never escape 
I had my bro on the phone 
Saying my mom over dosed 
She took some pills and successfully killed
Herself last night in her room at home 
Woah
My whole heart stopped 
When I called your name and heard no response
I pushed and pulled but the door was locked
I then shouted your name and again I knocked
I then heard a snore 
And thought it was yours 
But I knew you ain't done that before 
Yes I was confused that I heard her snore 
But I still gave it no thought and chose to ignore it 
Left the house and plugged my phone in my cord 
And banged some tracks like I've done before 
It was a normal day for me 
Nothing new and nothing completely out of the norm
I received the call, the call that killed
The call that still gives me the chills
The call that had me hearing my brother break down and tell me "mom took some pills"
Oh and that snore that I heard but chose to ignore instead
That was the sound of my mom choking to death while taking her last few breathes
My brother was left to break in the room 
And find her there with nothing but a note she left
And a sense of death in the air 
I can't compare to just how scared he must of been 
To see the deceased form of the women who raised him up my G 
I'm just sorry
I was not there 
To take her down the stairs
I was aware 
Something was up 
But felt too scared to face it yeah 
It's unfair that you were left to do it yourself 
I should of been there

I am alone now
Motherless
And broken down
Everyday I feel the pain you felt now
And were forced to carry around
I am alone now
Mother less 
And broken down
I can feel the pain you felt 
But I can feel the love that you dealt
I am alone now
Motherless and broken down
I can feel your light shinning down
And I pray that I make you proud
I am alone now
Motherless and broken down
Motherless and broken down
I am alone now

Every day in the house I feel your presence 
And I know that you're present
But every time I feel you there 
I don't feel safe Nah I only feel scared
It fucks me up more than words can tell 
You died by suicide 
You killed yourself 
Does that now mean that you're in hell
And you're stuck there and you need help
While I'm raging now 
I feel as though i have some more shit to say
You ain't never gonna see me graduate 
And you won't be there on my wedding day 
But when people say she's in a better place 
Now that's what gets me mad hay
Because I saw her dead body as it lay
It was real and raw like she had decayed
But when describing it; I don't even know where to begin 
But I felt sick seeing 
Your black teeth and blue skin 
You were frozen 
Like a mannequin 
And I realized 
I ain't never gonna get you back again 
And I find myself questioning
Where you are and if this is really happening
You took 80 prescription pills 
In hope that it finally kills 
You and your pain 
And don't worry it will 
But still 
I cannot lie 
I pray to the sky 
Jesus Christ 
Please forgive me for what I've done 
As I feel I'm the reason that she's gone

I am alone now
Motherless
And broken down
Everyday I feel the pain you felt now
And were forced to carry around
I am alone now
Mother less 
And broken down
I can feel the pain you felt 
But I can feel the love that you dealt
I am alone now
Motherless and broken down
I can feel your light shinning down
And I pray that I make you proud
I am alone now
Motherless and broken down
Motherless and broken down
I am alone now

Depression is a creature that is hidden inside
But only a few can wake it up and make it eat you alive
Now this creature has goal
An objective at mind
It aims to make you feel that it be better if you die
Now I believe that life and depression formed a hybrid
And I would kill this creature or hybrid  if I were to find it
And this hybrid was set out to get my mom 
I don't like it 
Therefore my mom did not kill herself
I believe that life did

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