None of Us Are Saints

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Carl Christensen

5:30

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I wanna drink too much
So I have an excuse to call you
So I’ll get drunk
Drunk enough to say, “ I adore you”
“Come on shut up
Cuz there is nothing that I owe you”
I’m not quite enough
I knew that I would eventually bore you
But did you forget that I was crazy?
And don’t you remember when I stripped naked?
I was sprinting thorough the streets like an asylum patient
My teachers saying,” that boy needs medication”
I tore a page
Out of an atlas
So if I get lost
I’ll know exactly where a map it
I’ll spend this year
Chasing ghosts
On the same page
But different coasts
I got this memory like a Polaroid
Of you throwing ice cubes in your mouth
They shimmer against the sunset for a split second
Then miss to make puddles on the ground
And with this memory in mind I fly down I-5
Toward the place with the sign that reads
“Welcome for a day or a life time”
Balance is impossible
Best friends in the hospital
Nothings really stable playing
Cards under table
Legs week and knees are shaking
For weeks and months and days and at
Night I’m chasing ghosts of the people that I know
And none of us are saints
So when we die
We’ll go to the same place
Oh take a good look at me this is the youngest I’ll ever be again
And I’m honestly worried when the drugs wear off
You won’t wanna be my friend
And it just two years time we wont come back here no more
Our biannual reunions will transform to our weddings and funeral
And he tells me this and he looks at the ground he seems pale
Like he might pass out
“I live with too many ghosts right now I gotta see everyone before I leave town
It’s amazing that we can still hang out and be sober and be happy and be sober and be honest and honestly be our Most honest self’s”
And she tells me
“I can’t believe
That you
Are still friends with me”
But none of us are saints
Do when we die
We’ll go to the same place
We are different species then we were back then
We are different species then we were back then

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