Rebecca

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The God Awful Small Affairs

6:12

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I sold my birthright today
And the water that he gave me didn't quench
My thirst
Like it should have

I've been choosing to live
In this home
Without even a cursory knowledge of emergency
Emergency
Exits
Or windows

I've been saying 
We should fix this lock since we moved in
But as I sleep my mind stays open
And you waltz on in

And should you ever
Like to see me again
I'll be lucid dreaming
Smoking menthol cigarettes
In your childhood family den

Spirit
Are you with us now?
I'll trudge through this tragic terrain if you'll but
If you'll but show me how 
Been chasing you through time
But not one word you taught me
No not one 
Not one comes to mind
Oh Rebecca in the shadows
Are you a, are you a friend of mine?

You, knowledge bringer
Force, faith, friend, family song singer
Thrower of knives
And the pinnacle of watchful wives  

Do you, blame me for this road
I'm a misanthrope
No I misspoke
See I'm contradictions only
I'm agoraphobic lonely
I'm adventurous and holy
Trying
To be a better man

You say you bring me wisdom
But do you know
Do you know who I am?
Been turning to you through time
Can someone hold a place in your heart
And you never 
And you never know why?
Oh Rebecca in the shadows are you a
Are you a friend of mine?

You said my name like it had meaning
But what version of me were you seeing
I thought if i could become what you said I'd be
That you'd let me be 

And I've always been a fast learner
Now

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