I'm AfraId Even Though It Is

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Eyce

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He may not be our martyr, then agaIn, perhaps he would
We won't know untIl the empty cup
Maybe, he can actually be good
So, let's take a seat and see what's up

DustIn Is applyIng to be the one to kIll thIs beat
Rust, no. I'm supplyIng much more harm usIng heat
Lust, yes. No denyIng. Comfort shackled to my feet
Trust Is not complyIng when I try forcIng my defeat
Death keeps tellIng me to jump, and so I tell my body leap
One thIng Is certaIn.. thIs path I can't repeat
Too much wrItten In my head and I cannot press delete
I am just a sImple man. My heart wants to feel complete
My hands extendIng towards the heavens, fallIng short of beIng meek
But I'll stIll clImb as hIgh as I can. Always reachIng for the peak
I've been feelIng lIke a faIlure every tIme I try to act or speak
Thank you God for your mercy, for I know I can be weak
WakIng reps for Day KIng DET. My lIfe, faIr, what I lend you
My pen revolvIng when you want InsIde every venue
TakIng steps and breakIng debts, I wonder where we went to
I've been evolvIng Into whatever I was meant to
All I want and need Is whatever that Is. FInd It when I wIll. Let me be me
And me alone. I'm not alone though. I know you're here too. One wIth me
Anyone who dIsagrees wIth me can leave. My head Is where I breathe
I refuse to belIeve there Is one way to belIeve
I know thIs moment's dIre for everyone. The choIr sIngs In no attIre
I'm sIck of beIng labeled a thIef and a lIar when all I've trIed to do Is be good wIth desIre
When can I retIre? I'm tIred of the fIre
I have the trust requIred, but stIll thIs demon won't expIre
I'm not sure If I want to know me anymore. ThIs paIn puts me In cuffs 
To reflect my regrets for beIng too tough
I'm tryIng. I destroy desperatIon. It's not enough
How can I plan eternIty when I am just a man? 
I've established myself as nothIng and everythIng I can
Does It just take tIme to balance or am I the antI-AlIce? 
I'm not sure why I cannot fInd the perfect lIne for both of us combIned
The knIfe I use for kIllIng my mInd Is not thIs dull
It never seems to be rIght when I try to pay my toll
I love and hate the body that's somehow lInked onto my soul
But I'm sIck of feelIng guIlty for what I cannot control
I'm sorry If you've ever felt as though you were trapped wIthIn my room
Surrounded by walls and spIkes, so I hold you tIght away from doom
I see you once a year, as though already In my tomb
I've been waItIng to be reborn from thIs purgatory womb
Is thIs dream's old coy long overdue for cold pen rap souls? 
Can you taste the mold? PoIson on golden apples
I wIll never agaIn allow such fruIt wIthIn my bowl
I'm lost In a place that wIll make me whole
For you, took all that I could comprehend
God Is how my name wIll be pronounced In the end
If that Is all we are, let me be free. I'm done pretendIng to be just a man
FIgure thIs out for me. I belIeve you can
WrIte me a song, oh, my sweet love

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