Mental Blocks

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Smoke Skreezy

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Know some homies OD'd on the fentanyl
Know some homies still dealing with meth withdrawal
And I know that some days I wanna end it all
I apologize for the time I don't accept ya call
Memories of the record store
Only dope we ever needed back then
Back when shit still kinda made sense
Before getting stabbed in the back by fake friends
Shit, before i ever thought about making the bread
Before i ever thought about taking the meds
Before I felt like I was hanging by threads
Always had somethin' that would play in my head
It was this rap shit
F*ck, I love this rap shit
So I started studying the masters and tactics
Started honing my own craft and
Started skipping classes to practice
But shit, being a loner'll take a toll on ya
Homies and family, you think they don't want ya
So it's no wonder you getting ghost on em
Start thinkin' like, really man, how close are we
Only know one of my Three brothers
Maybe cuz i'm the youngest, but
I don't even got no memories of em
I mean, I don't even know these mufuckas! LOOK
Gotta give a shout out to James doe
Had my back since I was a day old
And I'm a have his 'til the grave so
I just wanna say thanks bro, okay so
LOOK - had to socialize for the hoe chase
Plus I had rhymes I had to showKhase
Started writing poetry for those dames
Worked a couple times, mostly got no play
Started hangin' with the homies that sold weight
And I would hang out, so I soaked game
Wasn't long before I do my own thang
Had to make my own way, Make my own lane
Shit I wanna go back to the days and
Take back all the time that I wasted
Maybe go on a vacation
Or maybe i'd just do the same shit
So f*ck it, I just try to stay above underground
Cuz it's no fun when the money runnin' out
And right now i'm down to my last twenty thou
Hoping that I come up before they cut me dowwwwn
Feel like I'm runnin' outta time
Feel like I'm losing my mind
I just hope that I'm doing what's right
Just want my kids to have a good life, ugh
Cuz when I look into my son's eyes
I swear it's more beautiful than the sun rise
And sometimes, I can't help but cry
Knowing I ain't giving it the best I got
Got me thinkin' like, do I ever give the best I got?
Or do I keep giving in to mental blocks?
To keep my potential locked? What?
I'm afraid I'm a make it once I set my mind? shit
F*ck all that shit I'm a do this
F*ck all the bullshit excuses
I won't say shit I'm a prove it, ya'll gon feel this movement
Hmm...and as I watch my daughters grow
I trip how one day they'll be on their own
I just hope that they know that they not alone
Babies I'ma be here if I got a pulse!
I do this for LiLi and David
Romieo, Sheaky and Dayna
Abbigale, Kaiah, Aleeya and Branden
Izzy, Marissa, Vivienne and Jared, shit
Not to mention the crew
Sorry to all of the friends I outgrew
But this was some shit that I had to pursue
And ya'll wasn't doing what ya'll had to do, so
Each year that circle get smaller
Whether from personal problems or funeral parlors
Or maybe you got burned for some dollars
So now it's f*ck everybody, for real
But it's hard when it's just ya self
Hard to find people that you trust to help
But eventually you find some one else
Cuz when it's f*ck everybody, you just f*ck ya self DAMN
And it's hard to let anyone in
When you know these people ain't genuine friends
Hate when they see that you getting ahead
Don't wanna see you do better than them?
What type a shit is that?
I mean, how you even get like that?
Must suck to be you if you live like that
Always worried bout what this guy has
Man f*ck all that!
Way too busy on this grind
To be worried bout what you doing all the time
Really, all i think about is dollar signs and
How I can provide for my daughters lives
Yeah I learned a lot in life, but don't call me wise
I just walk the line
Now, I just need to monetize this art of mine and we'll all be fine

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