Stuart

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Dead Milkmen

The Dead Milkmen is an American punk rock band formed in 1983 in Philadelphia. Their original lineup consisted of vocalist and keyboardist Rodney Linderman ("Rodney Anonymous"), guitarist and vocalist Joe Genaro ("Joe Jack Talcum"), bassist Dave Schulthise ("Dave Blood") and drummer Dean Sabatino ("Dean Clean"). The band distinguished itself in the hardcore punk scene of the early 1980s through its jangly punk sound and sardonic humor delivered with thick Philadelphia accents. They attracted college radio attention with their 1985 debut album, Big Lizard in My Backyard, and the song "Bitchin' Camaro". Extensive touring and further releases helped the band garner an underground following. The band enjoyed international success on the strength of "Punk Rock Gir… more »

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You know what Stuart?  I like you.
You're not like the other people here in the trailer park.
Oh no, don't get me wrong, they're fine people, good Americans.
But they're content to sit back,
maybe watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57.
Maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer.
They're good fine people, Stuart.
But they don't know what the queers are doing to the soil.

You know that Johnny Werzner kid -
the kid who delivers papers in the neighborhood?
He's a fine kid.
Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it.
Anyway, for his 10th birthday, all he wanted was a burrow owl,
just like his old man.
"Dad, get me a burrow owl.
I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live".
So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.
Anyway at 10:30 the other night I go out into my yard and
there's the Werzner kid looking up in the tree.
I said, "What are you looking for?"
He said, "I'm looking for my burrow owl."
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick!  Everybody knows that a
burrow owl lives in a hole in the ground!
Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?!"
Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that
is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil?

I first became aware of this, about 10 years ago,
the summer my oldest boy Bill Jr. died.
You know that carnival that comes to town every year?
Well this year it came with a ride called the Mixer.
The man said "Keep your head and arms inside the mixer at all times."
But Bill Jr., he was a daredevil, just like his old man.
He was leaning out saying, "Hey everybody! Look at me, look at me!"
POW!  He was decapitated.
They found his head over by the snowcone concession.
A few days after that,  I open up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there,
from Pueblo, Colorado.
And it's addressed to Bill Jr.
And it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our soil?"

Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big
underground homosexual population -
Des Moines, Iowa, perfect example.
Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart.
You can't build on it, you
can't grow anything in it.
The government says it's due to poor farming.
But I know what's really going on, Stuart.
I know it's the queers.
They're in it with the aliens.
They're building landing strips for gay
Martians.  I swear to God.

You know what Stuart, I like you.
You're not like the other people, here
in the trailer park.

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