Intro/Riot

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Dane Cook

Dane Jeffrey Cook (born March 18, 1972) is an American stand-up comedian and film actor. He has released five comedy albums: Harmful If Swallowed; Retaliation; Vicious Circle; Rough Around The Edges: Live From Madison Square Garden; and Isolated Incident. In 2006, Retaliation became the highest charting comedy album in 28 years and went platinum. He performed an HBO special in the Fall of 2006, Vicious Circle, a straight-to-DVD special titled Rough Around The Edges (which is included in the album of the same name), and a Comedy Central special in 2009 titled Isolated Incident. He is known for his use of observational, often vulgar, and sometimes dark comedy. He is one of the first comedians to use a personal webpage and MySpace to build a large fan base, and … more »

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YES!...Yes..yes..yes. Yes..Yes..Y-E-S. Yes.
We are going to have a relationship tonight.
I'm gonna go out with you. We're gunna date for a while.
We're gonna make sweet, sweet comedy love with each other.
And then suddenly without warning I'm not even gunna call you guys
anymore. The last thing you will have heard me say was,
"hey, i'll call you guys later" and I never call.
But you hear from the grapevine, I'm dating a younger, sexier crowd.
And then I'm really happy, but I'm not happy cuz I think about you guys.
And about a year from now, I'm gonna call weeping in the middle
of the night, "(sniff)you were the best crowd I ever had...(sniff)
you really listened to me...and I didnt know the crowd I had til you
despersed." Then we're gonna get together, were gonna hang out,
and maybe we'll all like, ya know, run around town and smash windows
and cause destruction. And I'll make jokes and one of you guys will turn
and be like, "Haha, Dane your a riot!" and I'll go,
"IM A RIOT? YOUR A FUCKING RIOT!"
GET IT?
Thats how things are gonna go down tonight!

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